homework

To achieve my short goals, I have to save the money because those related to travle which must neccessary enough money for comfortable travle with my family. Without family, when I have no money, that's not problem for me. Anyway, I want to go together with family everywhere especially, for take a rest in some islands like Bali, Saipan etc. That places have very beautiful sand beach, good weather, crystal water and delicious food that unique and we haven't experienced in Korea. When I think about it, I'm so exciting. My long goals, as I told you before, help and support people who disabled or orphans. Especially, I felt orphans are pitiful. To receive from parents love and care, it's very important for children's mental. They didn't receive enough love that maybe caused some serious criminal. Since 2010, I continuously donated to UNICEF and if I have enough money, I'll more danate for them.

Good Evening [이름],

I wish that you will be able to achieve your goals in life. Here are my corrections and please feel free to ask questions in our class. :)

T. Jeny

To achieve my short goals, I have to save the money because those related to travle which must neccessary enough money for comfortable travle with my family.

>> To achieve my short goal, I have to save money because I want to travel comfortably with my family.

Without family, when I have no money, that\'s not problem for me.

>> I can travel without money if my family is not with me.

Anyway, I want to go together with family everywhere especially, for take a rest in some islands like Bali, Saipan etc.

>> Anyway, I want to travel everywhere together with my family especially to some islands like Bali, Saipan and so on.

That places have very beautiful sand beach, good weather, crystal water and delicious food that unique and we haven\'t experienced in Korea.
>>Those places has a good weather, beautiful sand beaches, crystal water, and delicious food which are unique and we haven\'t experience those in Korea.

When I think about it, I\'m so exciting.

>> When I think about it, I feel so excited.
My long goals, as I told you before, help and support people who disabled or orphans.

>> As I told you before, my long goal is to support people who are disabled or orphans.

Especially, I felt orphans are pitiful.

>> I feel that orphans are pitiful.

To receive from parents love and care, it\'s very important for children\'s mental.

>> They need love and care from their parents. That is very important for the child\'s mentality.

They didn\'t receive enough love that maybe caused some serious criminal.

>> They didn\'t receive enough love and that might cause some serious crime.

Since 2010, I continuously donated to UNICEF and if I have enough money, I\'ll more danate for them.

>>Since 2010, I continuously donate to UNICEF and if I have more money, I will donate more to them.

>>OR: I started donating since 2010 to UNICEF and If I have more money, I will donate more to them.