Homework
학생이 쓴 원문
강사 첨삭
Hello again!
I think you have a very good suggestion on this topic. I heard that bullying is one of the moset serious problems in Korea. I hope it\'ll get resolved. Anyway, have a wonderful day!
What measures do you think should schools take to eliminate school violence?
In Korea there is an increased number of suicide among teenage students.
>> In Korea there is an increased number of suicide cases among teenage students.
Most of the main reasons for that is school violence.
>> The most common reason for that is school violence.
So I think to reduce school violence we need to set up some protocal or system to prevent it.
>> So I think, to reduce school violence, we need to set up some protocol or system to prevent it.
First we should hire more consultation teachers in shool.
>> First, we should hire more counselors at school.
They can help student to have cousultation near by them.
>> They can be of help by guiding the students.
So there will be more chance to report and perceive student\'s problems with bulling.
>> Through this, there will be a bigger chance of being able to eradicate bullying.
Second, schools have to increase the Vigelence Camera in blind points.
>> Second, schools have to increase the number of security cameras especially those that are hidden.
The bad students who torture their mates are already know where these cameras are insatalled.
>> This would be a good way to determine who the bullies are.
So if we installed some cameras in secret in the frequent violence places, we can detect more efficiently problems.
>> So if we installed some cameras in secret places where violence usually happens, we can detect the involved ones faster.
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