homework

2013-03-27 · 첨삭 강사 Jeny

학생이 쓴 원문

I haven't experienced when I was young so, I tell you in my opinion what is really terrifying that is indifference. Indifference is caused by violences like murder or assult. They have no reasons and just hated looks like happy or smiling people. People who had indifference when they were young have quite hated for society. So, I think love is very important because people can't live alone. We must relationship with each other. Korea has saying that most horrifying is not a poverty, hunger but a indifference. We have to take care of family, friends and neighbors.

강사 첨삭

Hello [이름],

Being neglected in the society or in your own family can cause of inferiority complex, so I think we all know that we have a big responsibility to our family and society. Thank you for expressing your opinion in our topic.

T. Jeny

 

I haven\'t experienced when I was young so, I tell you in my opinion what is really terrifying that is indifference.

>>I haven\'t experienced that when I was young but I can tell you about my opinion that indifference is terrifying.

Indifference is caused by violences like murder or assult.

>>Indifference is caused by violence like murder or assault.

They have no reasons and just hated looks like happy or smiling people. 

>>They have no reasons behind but they seem to look happy.

People who had indifference when they were young have quite hated for society.

>>People who were neglected when they were young have a feeling of hatred for the society. 

So, I think love is very important because people can\'t live alone.

>>correct

We must relationship with each other.

>>We must have a good relationship with each other.

>>We must create a good relationship with each other.

Korea has saying that most horrifying is not a poverty, hunger but a indifference.

>>Korea has a saying that poverty or hunger is not horrifying but indifference.

>>Korea has a saying that indifference is a horrifying experience and not poverty or hunger.

We have to take care of family, friends and neighbors.

>>We have to take care of our family, friends and neighbors.

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