Homework

2010-10-21 · 첨삭 강사 Connie

학생이 쓴 원문

I usually listen to music while I'm walking,because I like listen to music very much. However, I don't have any preference about music, I just listen popular songs and pop songs. Especailly, I like pop song, because I like english lyrics which I can understand and follow. When I listen, sometimes I wondered how they write these lyrics, because their lyrics are so nice and emotional.Also, I think, different language attracts me to concentrate their songs.And I think,listening music help to arrange their own mind and restore their pain ,due to thier stress. So music is so good media,listening music also really good habit.

강사 첨삭

Hello music lover,

It was so good of you to make your homework immediately. You really are a diligent student.

Here are some corrections on your composition tonight.

^^kaye^^

I usually listen to music while I'm walking,because I like listen to music very much.

>>I usually listen to music while I’m walking because I like listening to music very much.

 However, I don't have any preference about music, I just listen popular songs and pop songs.

>> However, I don't have any preference in music.I just listen to popular songs and pop songs.

Especailly, I like pop song, because I like english lyrics which I can understand and follow.

>>But most especailly, I like pop song because I like English lyrics which I can understand and follow.

When I listen, sometimes I wondered how they write these lyrics, because their lyrics are so

nice and emotional.

>>When I’m listening sometimes I wonder how they write these lyrics because their lyrics are so nice and emotional.

Also, I think, different language attracts me to concentrate their songs

>>Also, I think a different language attracts me to concentrate on their songs.

.And I think,listening music help to arrange their own mind and restore their pain ,due to thier stress.

>>And I think listening to music helps people arrange their own mind and ease their pain due tor stress

So music is so good media,listening music also really good habit.

>>So music is a good media and moreover listening to music is really a good habit.

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