Homework ~!!
학생이 쓴 원문
강사 첨삭
Hi there^^,
Thank you for making your homework.
Yes, I also agree with you that money can\'t buy happiness.^^
Take care and have a great day!
Always be happy :)
T. Maria^^
Money can\'t buy happiness
>> CORRECT! [punctuation marks]
I think that money can\'t buy happiness. Because There is limitation that money make.
>> I think money can\'t buy happiness because there is a limitation to what money can buy.
Since I was young I have thought that money can buy everything I want to get.
>> When I was young, I thought that money can buy everything that I want to get.
Actually we can\'t live in this world without money.
>> CORRECT!
we can eat food by buying and cooking something like vegetable.
>> CORRECT! [vegetables]
>> OR: We can eat by buying and cooking something, like vegetables.
We can wear clothes by buying clothes.
>> Correct! [We have clothes because we buy them.]
Even I can go to university by paying tuition.
>> Even I can go to university by paying for the tuition fee.
Even though I desperately want to study in university, I can\'t study without money.
>> CORRECT!
Therefore, we can\'t live without money in today\'s world.
>> Therefore, we can\'t live without money nowadays.
However I think that human have outside and inner side.
>> However, I think that humans have an outside and inner sides.
Money only makes man\'s look fancy. And appearances can often be deceptive.
>> Money only makes a man look fancy and appearance can often be deceptive.
To live a joyous life, we need to focus on the inside than on outward appearances, and knowing oneself is the key of happy life.
>> To live a joyful life, we need to focus on the inside rather than on the outside appearance and knowing oneself is the key to a happy life.
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