homework

2013-07-16 · 첨삭 강사 Maria

학생이 쓴 원문

HOMEWORK FOR TODAY: ESSAY: If you would become invisible in one day, how would you spend your day??? Maria~~!!! I am very sorry yesterday~.. yesterday. Something must be wrong with the computer but today everything will be ok~!! If I would become invisible in one day, I would stay in my home all day. Because, If I go outside, maybe I will be afraid of everything. I will be in danger of being threatened by something. Therefore I would rather be in my home~!! There I will listen to all musics without any prejudice~!! and I will observe my family's voices~!! maybe It is interesting~ maybe I can love them more ~ ever before by observing them. I can experience death indirectly. Because when I was child, I thought that If i die, I can't see anything. So I can have time for serious self-reflection. Then the day will be end~!!

강사 첨삭

Hi there!!!      Wow...Thank you for doing your homework. I have a song for you. Do you know the song in Glee which starts with \"Just a small town girl....living in this...\" I think that is a good song for you to learn because you want to stay at home even if you are invisible. I will see you later (^^) Cheers!!!!   HOMEWORK FOR TODAY:ESSAY: If you would become invisible in one day, how would you spend your day???Maria~~!!! I am very sorry yesterday~.. >> Correctyesterday. Something must be wrong with the computer >> Yesterday, there must be something wrong with the computerbut today everything will be ok~!! >> CorrectIf I would become invisible in one day, I would stay in my home all day. >> Correct or >> If I would become invisible in a day, I would stay at home all day. Because, If I go outside, maybe I will be afraid of everything. >> Correct or >> Because, if I go outside, I might become afraid of everything. I will be in danger of being threatened by something. >> CorrectTherefore I would rather be in my home~!! >> Correct There I will listen to all musics without any prejudice~!! and I will observe my family\'s voices~!! maybe It is interesting~ >> Correct                  >>music                                       >> Correct                                                         >>it maybe I can love them more ~ ever before by observing them. >> Correct or >> Perhaps I can love them more, more than before by just observing them. I can experience death indirectly. >> Correct Because when I was child, I thought that If i die, I can\'t see anything. >> When I was a child, I thought that if I die, I won\'t be able to see anything and anybody again. So I can have time for serious self-reflection. >> So now I have time for serious self reflection.               Then the day will be end~!! >> you may remove this sentence

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