homework
학생이 쓴 원문
The lifestyle has been changed by the working type and technology advancement including affecting children and parents relations. Some people say modern life makes the relations between parents and children better than in the past due to checking them by mobile phones and internet service. However, I think that modern lifestyle brings less spending time with parents and children relations.
In modern era, the number of working women has been increased which was the least participation to work in the past. Parents are working from nine to six hours on average during weekdays spending less time with their children. When they return to home, they are already exhausted from work and try to take a rest by themselves. For example, as I am a working mother, I spend time my children for two hours. As I get home, a lot of house work is unable to share time with them and I force them to sleep early for tomorrow.
강사 첨삭
Hi Miss [이름]!
Thanks for doing this task 2 writing my dear! :)
I know you\'re very busy at the moment, but you still give your best shot!
Great work! :D
~~~~TeacherMyra
The lifestyle has been changed by the working type and technology advancement including affecting children and parents relations.
>>Lifestyle of people has been changed from the past with regards to the working type and technological advancement which affects children and parents relations.
Some people say modern life makes the relations between parents and children better than in the past due to checking them by mobile phones and internet service.
>>Some people say modern life makes the relations between parents and children better than in the past due to mobile phones and internet service which enables you to check your children regularly.
However, I think that modern lifestyle brings less spending time with parents and children relations.
>>However, I think that modern lifestyle brings less spending time between parents and children.
In modern era, the number of working women has been increased which was the least participation to work in the past.
>>In the modern era, the number of working women increased tremendously.
Parents are working from nine to six hours on average during weekdays spending less time with their children.
>>Parents are working from nine to six hours on an average during weekdays spending lesser time with their children.
When they return to home, they are already exhausted from work and try to take a rest by themselves.
>>When they return home, they are already exhausted from work and try to take a rest by themselves.
For example, as I am a working mother, I spend time my children for two hours.
>>For example, as I am a working mother, I spend time with my children for only two hours.
OR>>>Based on my experience as a working mother, ...
As I get home, a lot of house work is unable to share time with them and I force them to sleep early for tomorrow.
>> As I get home, I need to do a lot of house work thus, I am unable to share my time with them and I force them to sleep early for tomorrow.
Thanks for doing this task 2 writing my dear! :)
I know you\'re very busy at the moment, but you still give your best shot!
Great work! :D
~~~~TeacherMyra
The lifestyle has been changed by the working type and technology advancement including affecting children and parents relations.
>>Lifestyle of people has been changed from the past with regards to the working type and technological advancement which affects children and parents relations.
Some people say modern life makes the relations between parents and children better than in the past due to checking them by mobile phones and internet service.
>>Some people say modern life makes the relations between parents and children better than in the past due to mobile phones and internet service which enables you to check your children regularly.
However, I think that modern lifestyle brings less spending time with parents and children relations.
>>However, I think that modern lifestyle brings less spending time between parents and children.
In modern era, the number of working women has been increased which was the least participation to work in the past.
>>In the modern era, the number of working women increased tremendously.
Parents are working from nine to six hours on average during weekdays spending less time with their children.
>>Parents are working from nine to six hours on an average during weekdays spending lesser time with their children.
When they return to home, they are already exhausted from work and try to take a rest by themselves.
>>When they return home, they are already exhausted from work and try to take a rest by themselves.
For example, as I am a working mother, I spend time my children for two hours.
>>For example, as I am a working mother, I spend time with my children for only two hours.
OR>>>Based on my experience as a working mother, ...
As I get home, a lot of house work is unable to share time with them and I force them to sleep early for tomorrow.
>> As I get home, I need to do a lot of house work thus, I am unable to share my time with them and I force them to sleep early for tomorrow.
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