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2014-09-22 · 첨삭 강사 Myra

학생이 쓴 원문

If you will be a tour guide for me, where in Korea would you take me and why? Answer in 5 sentences. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ First of all, I'll take you to Namsan Tower which is located in the center of Seoul and you can see nice city view at a glance at the top of Namsan Tower. To Next place it would be good to take you to MyongDong by walk which is close from Namsan Tower, Moreover on the way to MyongDong there are many famous pork cutlet restaurants. In MyoungDong you can do the shopping such as comsmetics, clothes, shoes and experience many street foods. Lastly I want to take you to Vivaldi Park which is the largest water park in Korea. You can enjoy many amusement facilities whole day there and stay at a nice condominium.

강사 첨삭

Happy  M O N D A Y Mr. [이름]!!
Hello hello there my dearest student!
Hope you are doing really great. Hope to hear your wonderful stories tonight.

Thanks for doing your essay. This is an amazing starter of the week.
Please continue your good habits!
Also, great work for your homework! You used conjunctions appropriately! Thanks for listening to my pieces of advice.


I do hope I can visit your lovely nation!
Take care :))

\'Think of all the beauty still left around you and be happy.\'
~~Anne Frank

Teacher Myra (^o^)

If you will be a tour guide for me, where in Korea would you take me and why?
Answer in 5 sentences.
First of all, I\'ll take you to Namsan Tower which is located in the center of Seoul and you can see nice city view at a glance at the top of Namsan Tower.
>>
First of all, I\'ll take you to Namsan Tower, which is located in the center of Seoul, and you can see a nice view of the city at the top of Namsan Tower.
To Next place it would be good to take you to MyongDong by walk which is close from Namsan Tower,
>>Next place would be in MyongDong which is close from Namsan Tower just by walking.
OR>>The next place is in MyongDong, which we can reach on foot because it is close to Namsan Tower.
 
Moreover on the way to MyongDong there are many famous pork cutlet restaurants.
>>CORRECT
BETTER>>
Moreover, on the way to MyongDong, there are many famous pork cutlet restaurants. (punctuation marks are important)
In MyoungDong you can do the shopping such as comsmetics, clothes, shoes and experience many street foods.

>>In MyongDong you can do the shopping and buy things such as cosmetics, clothes, shoes and experience many street foods.
Lastly I want to take you to Vivaldi Park which is the largest water park in Korea.
>>CORRECT
You can enjoy many amusement facilities whole day there and stay at a nice condominium.

>>CORRECT

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