homework
학생이 쓴 원문
*ESSAY: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Attending a live performance (for example, a play, concert, or sporting event) is more enjoyable than watching the same event on television. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.
When I was young, I used to attend a live performance and I thought it was more interesting than watching the same event on television.
Not that long ago, I attend the baseball game and enjoy the Seoul International Fireworks Festival every year.
I can feel closer their passion and enthusiasm by the players or the audiences in the field.
But nowadays I prefer watching the event on television to attending a live performance.
I think, as I get older, I seem to try to find the comfortable things.
Suddenly, I feel sad to grow old. Hahaha~
강사 첨삭
Hi [이름]! ^.^
Happy Tuesday! ^^
Well done! ^^
You made a wonderful composition.
However, you need to be careful with some points.
First, you should review about punctuation marks and how to use them.
Next, be careful on the tenses of the verbs you use.
Last but not the least, try to search for some sentence patterns.
Anyway, to understand me more, please see the corrections and suggestions below.
See you! ^^
... Teacher Paula ... ^.~
>> When I was young, I used to attend a live performance, and I thought it was more interesting than watching the same event on television.
Not that long ago, I attend the baseball game and enjoy the Seoul International Fireworks Festival every year.
>> Not that long ago, I attended a baseball game and enjoyed the Seoul International Fireworks Festival every year.
>> Not that long ago, I attended a baseball game and enjoyed the Seoul International Fireworks Festival every year.
I can feel closer their passion and enthusiasm by the players or the audiences in the field.
>> I could feel closer to the passion and enthusiasm of the players and audiences in the field.
>> I could feel closer to the passion and enthusiasm of the players and audiences in the field.
But nowadays I prefer watching the event on television to attending a live performance.
>> However, nowadays, I prefer watching the event on television rather than attending a live performance.
>> However, nowadays, I prefer watching the event on television rather than attending a live performance.
I think, as I get older, I seem to try to find the comfortable things.
>> I think, as I get older, I seem to try finding comfortable things.
>> I think, as I get older, I seem to try finding comfortable things.
Suddenly, I feel sad to grow old. Hahaha~
>> CORRECT!
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