homework

Hi [이름]! ^.^

Happy Friday! ^^

In your composition, you have a good point! ^^

I also have the same point of view in relation to the given statement.

I totally agree that we should somehow stop from progressing.

We must also consider the people who don\'t get anything from developments we are having in the world.

I believe that development should help people to grow and live better lives.

I am considering better lives to all human beings in the world.

Anyway, don\'t forget to see the corrections and suggestions below for your composition improvement.

See you soon! ^^

... Teacher Paula ... ^.~

No, I don’t think so.
>> No, I don\'t think so.

>> OR: No, I disagree that progress is always good.

Progress gave us many convenient things, but that caused lots of problems at the same time.
>> CORRECT!

>> OR: Progress has given us many convenient things, but it caused lots of problems at the same time.

>> OR: Progress has given us many convenient things. However, it caused lots of problems at the same time.

Let me talk about environment.
>> Let me talk about the environment.

People are destroying the environment to satisfy human desire.
>> CORRECT!

>> OR: People are destroying it to satisfy human desire.

To keep our beautiful earth, people must stop development, and look back how endangered our earth is being.
>> To keep our beautiful Earth, people must stop development and look back on how endangered our Earth is.

>> OR: To keep our Mother Earth beautiful, people must stop making developments and look back on how endangered the Earth is.

Except that, we should take more interest in the neglected people who didn’t get benefits of progress around us.
>> Aside from those which are already mentioned, we should make more interest in the neglected people who didn\'t get any benefits from the progresses around us.

>> OR: In addition, we should give more attention to the neglected people who didn\'t get any benefits from the progress around us.

As you know, excessive progress leads to unequal division, and as days go by it is getting wider.
>> As you know, excessive progress leads to unequal division, and as days go by, it is getting wider.

Now, we are enjoying the results of progress enough, and I don’t think we need more progressive things.
>> Now, we are enjoying enough results of progress, and I don\'t think we need more progress.

>> OR: Now, we are enjoying enough results of progress, and I don\'t think we need more of it.

It is time for people to consider how to use moderation.

>> It is time for people to consider how to use it in moderation.

>> OR: It is time for people to consider making more progress in moderation.