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When it comes to getting jobs, there is a growing debate over whether teenagers have jobs or not as they are students. Although students in school do their work, they should broaden their horizons through part jobs in society. While students learn variety subjects, they might have a narrow sight in modern society. By earning a little money hard, they know importance of money as well as learn sense of economy. Therefore, I insist that students not only devote almost students' life to studying but also work to a degree.

Hello Jiwoong! Wow! I’m impressed by how you state your opinion on this topic. You did so well in writing this composition. Your sentences were good and well-thought-out. I think you were able to relate well to this topic. Keep up the good work. Kindly check my corrections below. Ciao! ~Teacher Marie~ When it comes to getting jobs, there is a growing debate over whether teenagers have jobs or not as they are students. >> CORRECT! >> whether teenagers have jobs or not as they are students = whether teenagers should have jobs or not while they are still students. Although students in school do their work, they should broaden their horizons through part jobs in society. >> Although students do their work in school, they should broaden their horizons through part-time jobs in the society.While students learn variety subjects, they might have a narrow sight in modern society. >> While students learn a variety of subjects, they might have a narrow view of modern society.By earning a little money hard, they know importance of money as well as learn sense of economy. >> By earning a bit of money, the hard way, they would know the importance of money as well as learn a sense of economy.Therefore, I insist that students not only devote almost students\' life to studying but also work to a degree. >> Therefore, I insist that students not only devote almost all of their lives to studying but also work to a degree.