Homework(6/13): Essay "About social issues here"

Helloooooooooo there! A very exciting Tuesday to you! Thank you so much in submitting your homework.

Dear sam.

>>correct
Thank you for today\'s subject of essay.

>>Thank you for today\'s subject on our essay.

>>Thank you for the topic in our essay today.
There are many social issues sprung to mind to me.
>>There are many social issues that spring into my mind.

Typical social problems in Korea are unemployment, crime , suicide and many others.
>>correct
Especially The current hot issue is the problem about unemployment.
>>Especially, unemployment is a hot issue these days.

A recent survey revealed that most of students graduating has not found yest jobs.

>>A recent survey revealed that most graduate students haven\'t found a job yet.

Therefor they postpone graduate or take time off from the university or are going to graduate school to save their specs or carriers.

>>Therefore they postpone school, take time off from university or go to graduate school to save their specs or carriers.
They want to apply to conglomerate but the big companies want to not students whom had graduated already but graduate-to-be.

>>They want to apply to conglomerate but big companies want to hire students who are about to graduate.
The first condition of choosing a spouse is having a job.

>>correct
Therefore time for marriage was gradually slowed.

>>Therefore they get married at a later age.
Many youth can have a job and can not get marriage and it is being issued in now and after.

>>Many young generation can have a job but not get married, it is an issue a long time ago.
Crime and suicide issues are also related to this social issue.

>>Crimes and suicide issues are also related to social issues.
Of course, Although we can not apply an excuse only as because of unemployment.

>>Although we can not only apply an excuse in the field of unemployment.