homework

http://me2.do/Ffz7OvSL you can see the essay by clicking 문서 보기 please, read and tell me where I have to fix. In addition, I have to finish giving speech in 3min, but I think my essay is little bit long. If there are useless sentences than please tell me.

Hi there [이름]! Happy Tuesday!^_-   I am aware that you are preparing for your speech competition but then we aren\'t allowed to directly edit school related homeworks or paperworks but I can offer you some tips. Since you only got three minutes to deliver your speech and like you said you\'re essay is a bit long, you just have to get the main idea for each fusion category. There is no need to go around the bush. For the first minute, you can introduce your topic which is Fusion. It\'s better if you will emphasize on the advantage of Fusion and that it\'s not destroying heritage but bringing people closer to it by experiencing both traditional and modern in one go. I wish you goodluck and I know that you can do it. You actually made a very good essay to be honest so just have confidence in your work. Practice on your delivery and pronunciation. I\'ll see you in class. Stay positive!(^__^)   ~Teacher Mayleen~   you can see the essay by clicking 문서 보기>> You can check the essay by clicking 문서 보기. please, read and tell me where I have to fix. >> Please read and tell me what I have to fix grammatically.   In addition, I have to finish giving speech in 3min, but I think my essay is little bit long. >> In addition, I have to give a 3mimute-speech but I think my essay is a bit long.   If there are useless sentences than please tell me. >> If there are useless sentences then please tell me.