homework
학생이 쓴 원문
강사 첨삭
Smoking kills!
However, I don\'t understand people who say that it relieves stress TT
Thank you for doing your homework, see you, Sun Young!
ESSAY: A large contributing factor to high level of nicotine addiction is attributed to the uncensored TV advertising of cigarettes. For this reason all cigarette advertising should be banned. What do you think?
I agree on that opinion.
>>CORRECT!
When cigarette advertising broadcasts on TV, People, especially teenager, can remember cigarette easily.
>>When cigarette advertising broadcasts on TV, people, especially teenagers, can remember the cigarette easily.
Also, the teenager can be addicted to it easier than adult.
>>Also, teenagers can be addicted to it easier than adults.
In Korea, there is a strong antismoking advertising these days.
>>CORRECT!
It\'s shown more direct messages to people to quit smoking.
>>CORRECT!
>>It\'s shown people more direct messages to quit smoking.
I think it helps people stop to smoke or decrease the number of smoker.
>> I think it helps people stop smoking or decrease the number of smokers.
Then, the cigarette advertising should be banned and antismoking advertising should be stronger than now at the same time.
>>Then, cigarette advertising should be banned and antismoking advertising should be stronger at the same time.
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