Homework~

2016-01-04 · 첨삭 강사 Rose

학생이 쓴 원문

Many of the medical problems that people are experiencing in today's world are due to the fact that we have a very sedentary lifestyle. To what extent to you agree? I agree entirely that all medical problems which people have result from a sedentary lifestyle. Today, we work a lot remaining seated day and night in their company. But, the working of the sedentary style has a bad effect on our health. To stay healthy, we have to do appropriate exercises, such as jogging, swimming or walking and eat good food. However, today, as people do their work, they do not exercise at all and they usually eat instant food. Therefore, by having this experience consistently, they can get diverse diseases which are medical problems. So, I think that doing appropriate exercises and eating good food is necessary for keeping our healthy.

강사 첨삭

Hi there, [이름] ;)

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Thanks for doing your homework and let us be healthier this year!

Many of the medical problems that people are experiencing in today\'s world are due to the fact that we have a very sedentary lifestyle. To what extent to you agree?
I agree entirely that all medical problems which people have result from a sedentary lifestyle.

>>I entirely agree that all medical problems which people have result from a sedentary lifestyle.

Today, we work a lot remaining seated day and night in their company.

>>Today, we work a lot remaining seated day and night in our company.
But, the working of the sedentary style has a bad effect on our health.
>>But, sedentary work style has a bad effect on our health.
To stay healthy, we have to do appropriate exercises, such as jogging, swimming or walking and eat good food.

>>To stay healthy, we have to do appropriate exercises, such as jogging, swimming or walking and eating good food.

However, today, as people do their work, they do not exercise at all and they usually eat instant food.

>>CORRECT!

Therefore, by having this experience consistently, they can get diverse diseases which are medical problems.

>>CORRECT!

So, I think that doing appropriate exercises and eating good food is necessary for keeping our healthy.

>> So, I think that doing appropriate exercises and eating good food are necessary for keeping ourselves healthy.

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