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2016-09-02 · 첨삭 강사 Rose

학생이 쓴 원문

This summer, the film "Myoungryang(Roaring Currents)" broke all the records of the Korean movie market. The number of viewers exceeded 17 million. The main factor of the success was surely the leadership of Admiral Lee sun-sin. As an retired soldier, I really admire him because his life was not only turbulant, but also extraordinary. He is a Korean war hero who saved his nation during the Japanese invasion called the Imjin War(1592-1598). He won 23 victories in 23 battles, including the Battle of Myoungryang. During the Battle of Myoungryang,he led only 12 ships in his command against a Japanese fleet consisting of 330 ships. Once he was caught in a trap by cunning politicians and detained in a prison. After that he came back to the Army as an enlisted man. He was also famous for a great writer, and he recorded what happened during the war as a personal jounal. Now his huge bronze statue stands in front of the Kwanghamun square like a national guardian. "Old soldiers never die; they

강사 첨삭

It was such a great experience when I watched that movie, Sir! Lee Sun Sin is considered as one of the best fighters ever lived on earth :) His \"turtle ship\" was also famous for its unique structure which kept Japanese soldiers from landing on its roof. Whew! I can still remember every scene! Choi Min Sik played the role really well^^ This summer, the film \"Myoungryang(Roaring Currents)\" broke all the records of the Korean movie market. >>CORRECT! The number of viewers exceeded 17 million. >>CORRECT!  The main factor of the success was surely the leadership of Admiral Lee sun-sin. >> The main factor of the success was surely the leadership of Admiral Lee Sun-Sin. As an retired soldier, I really admire him because his life was not only turbulant, but also extraordinary. >>As an retired soldier, I really admire him because his life was not only turbulent, but also extraordinary.  He is a Korean war hero who saved his nation during the Japanese invasion called the Imjin War(1592-1598). >>CORRECT! He won 23 victories in 23 battles, including the Battle of Myoungryang. >>CORRECT! During the Battle of Myoungryang,he led only 12 ships in his command against a Japanese fleet consisting of 330 ships. >>During the Battle of Myoungryang, he led only 12 ships in his command against a Japanese fleet consisting of 330 ships.  Once he was caught in a trap by cunning politicians and detained in a prison. >>Once, he was caught in a trap by cunning politicians and detained in a prison. After that he came back to the Army as an enlisted man. >>After that he came back to the army as an enlisted man. He was also famous for a great writer, and he recorded what happened during the war as a personal jounal. >>He was also famous for being a great writer, and he recorded what happened during the war in a personal journal.  Now his huge bronze statue stands in front of the Kwanghamun square like a national guardian. >>CORRECT! \"Old soldiers never die; they >>(Please continue^^) 

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