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2016-11-21 · 첨삭 강사 Rose

학생이 쓴 원문

The Bible says,"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." First of all, I am so grateful for being a christian. I always many thanks to my parents who made me a christian. Thinking of myself as a non-christian is unimaginable in my life. Next, I am so proud of my wife and son and grateful for the fact that we are the members of a family, even though they lack many things like me. In addition, I am grateful for my good health that I am comparatively hale and hearty given my age. On top of that, I am grateful for my Korean nationality. It's because I love its distinct four seasons, its picturesque scenery and its warmhearted and diligent people. More over, I am grateful for my former job that I served my country as a soldier for about 35 years. Lastly, I am grateful for doing my current job and improving my capability everyday. Learning giving thanks in all is a shortcut to be able to get happiness so early.

강사 첨삭

Hello, Sir! Good morning, how are you? I am so happy that you take time to be grateful for everything. I know a lot of people who forget to appreciate their lives because of their busy schedule. See you tomorrow! The Bible says,\"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God\'s will for you in Christ Jesus.\" >>CORRECT!First of all, I am so grateful for being a christian. >>First of all, I am so grateful for being a Christian. I always many thanks to my parents who made me a christian. >>I always am, many thanks to my parents who made me a Christian.Thinking of myself as a non-christian is unimaginable in my life. >>Thinking of myself as a non-Christian is unimaginable in my life. Next, I am so proud of my wife and son and grateful for the fact that we are the members of a family, even though they lack many things like me. >>Next, I am so proud of my wife and son and grateful for the fact that we are the members of a family, even though they lack (Sir, let\'s clarify this tomorrow^^)In addition, I am grateful for my good health that I am comparatively hale and hearty given my age. >>CORRECT!On top of that, I am grateful for my Korean nationality. >>CORRECT! It\'s because I love its distinct four seasons, its picturesque scenery and its warmhearted and diligent people. >>It\'s because I love its four distinct  seasons, its picturesque scenery and its warmhearted and diligent people.More over, I am grateful for my former job that I served my country as a soldier for about 35 years. >>CORRECT! Lastly, I am grateful for doing my current job and improving my capability everyday. >>Lastly, I am grateful for doing my current job and improving my capability every day. Learning giving thanks in all is a shortcut to be able to get happiness so early. >>Learning how to give thanks in everything is a shortcut to be able to get happiness so early.

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