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2016-11-24 · 첨삭 강사 Rose

학생이 쓴 원문

It was an irony that a slum was located very near the democracy-symbolized building, Capitol Hill, when I looked around there about 10 years ago. Poverty is one of the most difficult national problems to overcome. Poverty could be a major cause of social tensions and threats to divide a nation because of inequalities especially in developing countries. Poor areas lack basic hygiene, so transmission of diseases can be possible. Ebola, MERS and Zica viruses must have been infected from frowzy environments. Poor people are easily addicted to substance abuse such as drug and alcohol that are very common self-destructing habits. Poverty is so dangerous that poor people could destabilize our society. The poor children are those who have the least choice to change what happens to them. There isn't much they can do to help their families. It could cause children's anti-social behavior. Therefore, the government has to pay more attention to poor children's lives compared to the aged people.

강사 첨삭

This is indeed a heartbreaking problem. It tears my heart apart when I hear about corruption news and I see a lot of my countrymen dying helplessly due to poverty. Thank you for writing this comprehensive essay, Sir! See you tomorrow! It was an irony that a slum was located very near the democracy-symbolized building, Capitol Hill, when I looked around there about 10 years ago. >>CORRECT!Poverty is one of the most difficult national problems to overcome. >>CORRECT!Poverty could be a major cause of social tensions and threats to divide a nation because of inequalities especially in developing countries. >>CORRECT! >>Poverty could be a major cause of social chaos and threats dividing a nation because of discrepancies especially in developing countries.Poor areas lack basic hygiene, so transmission of diseases can be possible. >>CORRECT!Ebola, MERS and Zica viruses must have been infected from frowzy environments. >>Ebola, MERS and Zica patients must have been infected from frowzy environments.Poor people are easily addicted to substance abuse such as drug and alcohol that are very common self-destructing habits. >>CORRECT!Poverty is so dangerous that poor people could destabilize our society. >>CORRECT!The poor children are those who have the least choice to change what happens to them.>>CORRECT! There isn\'t much they can do to help their families. >>CORRECT!It could cause children\'s anti-social behavior. >>It could cause juvenile anti-social behavior.Therefore, the government has to pay more attention to poor children\'s lives compared to the aged people. >>CORRECT!

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