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2016-11-28 · 첨삭 강사 Rose

학생이 쓴 원문

It is harder for us to survive in our modern society than in a single military engagement because we have to continue to make all our efforts in a long term. Firstly, Information gathering capability is one of necessities to survive, as a soldier tries to detect where the enemy is located and how strong it is. We should keep an eye on what is going on in my occupational field. Secondly, the advanced professional knowledge, skills and experiences including foreign language skills are absolutely necessary to survive as a soldier can survive when he is armed with more precision guided munitions. We call it "Fire and Forget" system. We should not be seriously damaged by an unexpected attack. Lastly, we need to form our strong human network. Combined and joint operations are more invincible than a single service's combat action to win a war and survive at war. We have to manage the human network continuously by phones, letters and meetings. Survivability favors a certain level of tension.

강사 첨삭

Wow this is really interesting ^^ I am always amazed how soldiers keep themselves safe in a battlefield. Furthermore, I am always thankful to them, especially when they risk their lives for our safety. It is harder for us to survive in our modern society than in a single military engagement because we have to continue to make all our efforts in a long term. >>It is harder for us to survive in our modern society than in a single military engagement because we have to continue making all our efforts for a long term.Firstly, Information gathering capability is one of necessities to survive, as a soldier tries to detect where the enemy is located and how strong it is. >>Firstly, information gathering capability is one of the necessities to survive, as a soldier tries to detect where the enemy is located and how strong it is. We should keep an eye on what is going on in my occupational field. >>CORRECT!Secondly, the advanced professional knowledge, skills and experiences including foreign language skills are absolutely necessary to survive as a soldier can survive when he is armed with more precision guided munitions. >>CORRECT!We call it \"Fire and Forget\" system. >>CORRECT!We should not be seriously damaged by an unexpected attack. >>CORRECT!Lastly, we need to form our strong human network. >>CORRECT!Combined and joint operations are more invincible than a single service\'s combat action to win a war and survive at war. >>CORRECT!We have to manage the human network continuously by phones, letters and meetings. >>CORRECT!Survivability favors a certain level of tension. >>CORRECT!

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