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2016-12-14 · 첨삭 강사 Rose

학생이 쓴 원문

Over the past 150 years, we've burnt huge amounts of fossil fuels, bred huge amounts of methane-producing livestock and cut down vast forests. Climate change is already happening around the world as the results of uncontrolled activities by humans. Temperatures are rising, drought and wild fires are starting to occur frequently. What's more, rainfall paterns are shifing, glaciers and snow are melting, and the sea level is rising. I think that we need to prevent and mitigate climate change. In addition, we need to find a way to live with it, in other words, we need to adapt ourselves to it. There are many kinds of ways we can do to prevent climate change, such as eliminating the burning of coal, reducing energy use, recycling, trimming our waste, eating less meat, and developing renewable energy resources. Examples of adaptation measures include using scarce water resources more efficiently, building flood defenses, raising the levels of dykes, developing drought-tolerant crops, choosing tree species and forestry practices less vulnerable to storms and fires. Both preventing climate change and adapting to it are essential because it is too urgent to choose only one of them.

강사 첨삭

It seemed like this essay is well researched, Sir^^

Thank you for writing such an intellectual piece!

Global warming is really alarming as I saw some oceans which have already dried out TT

We have the sole responsibility to take care of our environment; otherwise it will take revenge TT

Over the past 150 years, we\'ve burnt huge amounts of fossil fuels, bred huge amounts of methane-producing livestock and cut down vast

forests.

>>CORRECT!
Climate change is already happening around the world as the results of uncontrolled activities by humans.

>>Climate change is already happening around the world as a result of uncontrolled activities by humans.
Temperatures are rising, drought and wild fires are starting to occur frequently.

>>CORRECT!
What\'s more, rainfall paterns are shifing, glaciers and snow are melting, and the sea level is rising.

>>What\'s more, rainfall patterns are shifing, glaciers and snow are melting, and the sea level is rising.
I think that we need to prevent and mitigate climate change.

>>CORRECT!
In addition, we need to find a way to live with it, in other words, we need to adapt ourselves to it.

>>CORRECT!
There are many kinds of ways we can do to prevent climate change, such as eliminating the burning of coal, reducing energy use, recycling,

trimming our waste, eating less meat, and developing renewable energy resources.

>>CORRECT!
Examples of adaptation measures include using scarce water resources more efficiently, building flood defenses, raising the levels of dykes,

developing drought-tolerant crops, choosing tree species and forestry practices less vulnerable to storms and fires.

>>CORRECT!
Both preventing climate change and adapting to it are essential because it is too urgent to choose only one of them.

>>CORRECT!

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