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2016-12-16 · 첨삭 강사 Rose

학생이 쓴 원문

When someone says the word "happy", the life in the US comes to my mind. The one year's life in the US about 20 years ago was the happiest time in my life as well as my family. How can I forget the mixed feelings of excitement, gratefulness, happyness and apprehension at the moment when I was in the flight to LA in 1995? It was my family's first traveling abroad. While staying in Santa Monica adjacent to the picturesque Mallibu beach and Santa Monica's pier, the gorgeous Beverly Hills, and the fantastic Disneyland, everything really mesmerized me. At RAND, listening to and speaking in English intimidated myself in my mid 40s. However, in the summer vacation, my family's expedition campaign of the western America began, traveling through the Grand, Bryce, and Giant Canyons by our own car. We visited several famous national parks such as Yellowstone, Yosemite and Sequoia Parks. I couldn't help but admit that this country was surely blessed. A good and happy memorry sometimes challenges us to accomplish something priceless.

강사 첨삭

Hi Sir^^ Happy Friday :)

Just reading this made my mind wander :)

For us, Filipinos, America has always been a dream, ha! ha!

I wish I could go there before I die, ha! ha!

See you on Monday, Sir!

When someone says the word \"happy\", the life in the US comes to my mind.

>>CORRECT!
The one year\'s life in the US about 20 years ago was the happiest time in my life as well as my family.

>>The one-year\'s life in the US about 20 years ago was the happiest time in my life as well as my family.
How can I forget the mixed feelings of excitement, gratefulness, happyness and apprehension at the moment when I was in the flight to LA in 1995?

>>How can I forget the mixed feelings of excitement, gratefulness, happiness and apprehension at the moment when I was in the flight to LA in 1995?
It was my family\'s first traveling abroad.

>>It was my family\'s first travel abroad.
While staying in Santa Monica adjacent to the picturesque Mallibu beach and Santa Monica\'s pier, the gorgeous Beverly Hills, and the fantastic Disneyland, everything really mesmerized me.

>> While staying in Santa Monica adjacent to the picturesque Malibu beach and Santa Monica\'s pier, the gorgeous Beverly Hills, and the fantastic Disneyland, everything really mesmerized me.
At RAND, listening to and speaking in English intimidated myself in my mid 40s.

>> At RAND, listening to and speaking in English made me intimidated in my mid 40s.
However, in the summer vacation, my family\'s expedition campaign of the western America began, traveling through the Grand, Bryce, and Giant Canyons by our own car.

>>However, in the summer vacation, my family\'s expedition in Western America began, traveling through the Grand, Bryce, and Giant Canyons

by our own car.
We visited several famous national parks such as Yellowstone, Yosemite and Sequoia Parks.

>>CORRECT!
I couldn\'t help but admit that this country was surely blessed.

>>CORRECT!
A good and happy memorry sometimes challenges us to accomplish something priceless.

>>A good and happy memory sometimes challenges us to accomplish something priceless.

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