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2016-12-23 · 첨삭 강사 Rose

학생이 쓴 원문

I've never seen my grandparents, but I received a lot of love my grandmother on my mother's side, who lived with my family for about 15 years. She was one of the best storytellers who I had experienced in my life. If I could invite five people to a dinner party, they would be my late parents and parents-in-law, including the late grandmother. My parents were devout Christians who kept on participating in 'early morning prayers' in church for almost their whole lives. I am so proud of religious inheritance and legacy from them, but I didn't do my best to take care of them. Especially, my mother stayed with my son to take care of him in Santa Monica for about 6 years. As an officer in the army, my salary always fell short of needs, therefore, my wife never sent enough money to my mother and son. However, my mother earned money, exerting her outstanding cooking skill and selling her home-made kimchi or dumplings in the Korean community of the US. Meanwhile, my late parents-in-law were highly educated people, given their ages. They used to be my robust patrons mentally and financially. I really would like to invite them to my home and throw a big party for them on Christ mas eve. Cheers! Bottom up please, Rose!

강사 첨삭

I wish I could also have dinner with you, Sir TT

Reading your essay makes me reminisce my late mother.

How I wish I could spend even 24 hours with her TT

Merry Christmas again, Sir!

I\'ve never seen my grandparents, but I received a lot of love my grandmother on my mother\'s side, who lived with my family for about 15 years.

>>I never saw my grandparents, but I received a lot of love from my grandmother on my mother\'s side, who lived with my family for about 15 years.
She was one of the best storytellers who I had experienced in my life.

>> She was one of the best storytellers whom I have met in my life.
If I could invite five people to a dinner party, they would be my late parents and parents-in-law, including the late grandmother.

>>CORRECT!
My parents were devout Christians who kept on participating in \'early morning prayers\' in church for almost their whole lives.

>>CORRECT!
I am so proud of religious inheritance and legacy from them, but I didn\'t do my best to take care of them.

>>CORRECT!
Especially, my mother stayed with my son to take care of him in Santa Monica for about 6 years.

>>CORRECT!
As an officer in the army, my salary always fell short of needs, therefore, my wife never sent enough money to my mother and son.

>>CORRECT!
However, my mother earned money, exerting her outstanding cooking skill and selling her home-made kimchi or dumplings in the Korean community of the US.

>> However, my mother earned money, exerting her outstanding cooking skill and selling her home-made kimchi or dumplings in the Korean community in the US.
Meanwhile, my late parents-in-law were highly educated people, given their ages.

>>CORRECT!
They used to be my robust patrons mentally and financially.

>>CORRECT!
I really would like to invite them to my home and throw a big party for them on Christ mas eve.

>> I really would like to invite them to my home and throw a big party for them on Christmas Eve.
Cheers! Bottom up please, Rose!

>>Cheers! Bottoms up please, Rose!

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