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2017-01-03 · 첨삭 강사 Rose

학생이 쓴 원문

The New Year stands before me like a white piece of paper. I set my New Year's resolutions in respect of what I will draw on the fresh paper for my life. Firstly, I will attempt to change my thought concerning my age. I have lived just two thirds of my life, so more than a third of my whole life still could remain. Secondly, I will lose weight and exercise more. Especially, I will work out with my wife because the doctor demanded my wife to work out more when she was in the hospital. I am responsible for her to be into the exercise. Thirdly, I will continuously pay my mind debts from some people whom I have owed so far. There are some old aged people who could not wait for me. Lastly, I will read a book per week, dozens of books a year. Books, needless to say, are an excellent way to gain of knowledge on a huge variety of topics, and also a great exercise for my brain. In conclusion, setting my New Year's resolutions must be the first step to make sure that it is a great picture of my life.

강사 첨삭

I remember that I made a  lot of New Year\'s resolutions TT

However, they vanished one by one TT

Thank you for your composition, Sir!

I am very excited to hear your voice^^

The New Year stands before me like a white piece of paper.

>>CORRECT!
 I set my New Year\'s resolutions in respect of what I will draw on the fresh paper for my life. 

>>CORRECT!
 Firstly, I will attempt to change my thought concerning my age.

>>CORRECT!
 I have lived just two thirds of my life, so more than a third of my whole life still could remain.

>> I have lived just two thirds of my life, so more than a third of my whole life is still remaining.
 Secondly, I will lose weight and exercise more.

>>CORRECT!
 Especially, I will work out with my wife because the doctor demanded my wife to work out more when she was in the hospital.

>>CORRECT!
 I am responsible for her to be into the exercise.

>> I am responsible for her to be into exercising.
 Thirdly, I will continuously pay my mind debts from some people whom I have owed so far.

>>CORRECT!
 There are some old aged people who could not wait for me.

>>There are some old-aged people who could not wait for me.
 Lastly, I will read a book per week, dozens of books a year.

>>CORRECT!
 Books, needless to say, are an excellent way to gain of knowledge on a huge variety of topics, and also a great exercise for my brain.

>> Books, needless to say, are an excellent way to gain knowledge on a huge variety of topics, and also a great exercise for my brain.
 In conclusion, setting my New Year\'s resolutions must be the first step to make sure that it is a great picture of my life.

>>CORRECT!

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