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2017-01-06 · 첨삭 강사 Rose

학생이 쓴 원문

Now, our country of 50 million is lacking leadership, with President Park Geun-hye impeached by the parliament. An election to choose the successor to the scandal-ridden leader will be held this year. However, I believe that amending the Constitution is more significant than selecting the appropriate leader. According to the current Constitution, the President is elected by direct popular vote, and limited to a single five-year term. The prime minister is appointed by the President with the consent of the National Assembly. Calls for revising the Constitution have gained additional momentum since the outbreak of the Choi Soon-sil scandal. I believe that the Constitution still gives the president too much power and that it was one of the reasons Park's civilian confidante could peddle influence and make personal gains. Our basic law which was last rewritten in 1987 is outdated in many respects, so it should be changed as soon as possible.

강사 첨삭

Such a logical composition, Sir~

We know that the law influences the citizens, so an updated one would be beneficial.

Thank you for doing this in spite of your busy schedule~

Now, our country of 50 million is lacking leadership, with President Park Geun-hye impeached by the parliament.

>>CORRECT!
An election to choose the successor to the scandal-ridden leader will be held this year.

>>The election to choose the successor to the scandal-ridden leader will be held this year.
However, I believe that amending the Constitution is more significant than selecting the appropriate leader.

>>CORRECT!
According to the current Constitution, the President is elected by direct popular vote, and limited to a single five-year term.

>>CORRECT!
The prime minister is appointed by the President with the consent of the National Assembly.

>>CORRECT!
Calls for revising the Constitution have gained additional momentum since the outbreak of the Choi Soon-sil scandal.

>>CORRECT!
I believe that the Constitution still gives the president too much power and that it was one of the reasons Park\'s civilian confidante could

peddle influence and make personal gains.

>>CORRECT!
Our basic law which was last rewritten in 1987 is outdated in many respects, so it should be changed as soon as possible.

>>CORRECT!

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