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2017-02-07 · 첨삭 강사 Rose

학생이 쓴 원문

There are a lot of challenges facing towns and cities today. Firstly, some districts appointed as a redevelopment area in a big city could be utilized as crime-ridden and juvenile delinquency-prone places during the long redevelopment period. The districts may also mar the city's beauty for a long time. Secondly, old towns and cities have aged infra-structures with uneasy problems. A city holds a huge facilities under the ground, such as oil and gas pipelines, water and soil pipes, power lines, and so on. Some old cities are not keeping the exact blueprint of infra-structures. That is why it is not an easy work to repair and change part of them. Rebuilding the entire one is impossible. Thirdly, with cars inundated abruptly, traffic congestion became chronic in big cities. Fourthly, as population decreases, abandoned houses will increase so soon as in Tokyo. Lastly, along with urban sprawl, towns and villages have been absorbed by a big city. How can we get back villages' picturesque scenery and warmhearted neighborhood's ambiance.

강사 첨삭

 Due to fast technological development, we tend to forget the hazardous effects it brings.

Moreover, the influx of population comes with numerous problems.

People are very busy developing towns into dynamic cities yet we forget that we must also take care of it before it\'s too late.

Thank you for giving your opinion on this topic, Sir [이름]^^

There are a lot of challenges facing towns and cities today.

>>CORRECT!
 Firstly, some districts appointed as a redevelopment area in a big city could be utilized as crime-ridden and juvenile delinquency-prone places during the long redevelopment period.

>>CORRECT!
 The districts may also mar the city\'s beauty for a long time.

>>CORRECT!
 Secondly, old towns and cities have aged infra-structures with uneasy problems.

>> Secondly, old towns and cities have aged infrastructures with uneasy problems.
 A city holds a huge facilities under the ground, such as oil and gas pipelines, water and soil pipes, power lines, and so on.

>> A city holds huge facilities under the ground, such as oil and gas pipelines, water and soil pipes, power lines, and so on.
 Some old cities are not keeping the exact blueprint of infra-structures.

>> Some old cities are not keeping the exact blueprint of infrastructures.
 That is why it is not an easy work to repair and change part of them.

>>That is why it is not an easy work to repair and change their parts.
 Rebuilding the entire one is impossible.

>>CORRECT!
 Thirdly, with cars inundated abruptly, traffic congestion became chronic in big cities.

>>CORRECT!
 Fourthly, as population decreases, abandoned houses will increase so soon as in Tokyo.

>>CORRECT!
 Lastly, along with urban sprawl, towns and villages have been absorbed by a big city.

>>CORRECT!
 How can we get back villages\' picturesque scenery and warmhearted neighborhood\'s ambiance.

>>How can we get back villages\' picturesque scenery and warmhearted neighborhood\'s ambiance?


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