homework

HELLO [이름],

Thank you for doing your homework.

Have a nice weekend.

Teacher Sophia ^^

Here are your corrections:

I partially agree with the idea that women are better than men in raising children.

>> CORRECT  

I think that the reasons originate from the difference between a woman and a man.

>> I think the reasons originated from the differences between a man and a woman.
First, woman are usually more delicate, and have more empathic abilities than men.

>>  First, woman are usually more delicate and have more empathic abilities than men.

So, they can know the problems of babies who can\'t speak.

>> So they immediately know what\'s wrong with the baby. 

Also, they can pay more attention to the children. 

>> They pay attention to the children more than men.
Second, men should usually earn money for their family.

>> Second, men usually earn a living for their family.

So they don\'t have enough time to take care of their children.

>> As a result, they don\'t have enough time to take care of their children.

Thus, after returning to home, men are so tired for their work, they don\'t have any energy to attend their children.

>> In addition, men are too tired from work that they don\'t have the energy to spend time with their children.

Therefore woman usually take care of their babies in most societies.

>> In most societies, women usually take care of their babies.
However, if men try to their best, they could be a good parent.

>> However, if men will try their best, they could be a good parent to their children.

And it means to break their obligation to give woman all the parenting, only due to their convenience.

>> They don\'t depend parenting to their spouses.

In conclusion, man have to help woman with parenting jointly.

>> In conclusion, men should help their wives in parenting.