homework
학생이 쓴 원문
Ultimately, all performances originate from staff's efforts and ideas. So, it is more important than anything else to encourage staff who work diligently.
First of all, the management should enoughly pay for employee's performance with sharing the profit of the company. If employees feel the paycheck is insufficient, they would work remissly or leave to anther company. Surly, the paycheck includes welfare, vacations, and so on.
Second, the management try to make the resonable system of an organization. This means that human resources affairs, reporting system and opinion convergency system are so resonable that an employee's opinion or idea can be considered to be important things. If that were so, employees would be likely to suggest good ideas and don't have quarrols about company.
In conclusion, the managements should think both staff and managements own the company jointly.
강사 첨삭
HELLO [이름],
Thank you for doing your homework.
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I think, your writing skill is getting better.
You are now giving me a conclusion or summary of your answer.
Keep it up! ^^
Teacher Sophia
Here are your corrections:
Ultimately, all performances originate from staff\'s efforts and ideas.
>> CORRECT
So, it is more important than anything else to encourage staff who work diligently.
>> So, it is more important to encourage staffs to be diligent.
First of all, the management should enoughly pay for employee\'s performance with sharing the profit of the company.
>> First of all, the management should compensate the employee base on his/her performance.
If employees feel the paycheck is insufficient, they would work remissly or leave to anther company.
>> If employees are unsatisfied with their compensation, they terribly remiss their work or move to another company.
Surly, the paycheck includes welfare, vacations, and so on.
>> Their salary should include their incentives.
Second, the management try to make the resonable system of an organization.
>> Second, the management should be reasonable in creating the organization.
This means that human resources affairs, reporting system and opinion convergency system are so resonable that an employee\'s opinion or idea can be considered to be important things.
>> The higher ranks should respect their subordinates\' opinion or idea.
If that were so, employees would be likely to suggest good ideas and don\'t have quarrols about company.
>> If that were so, the employees would likely suggest good ideas to improve the company.
In conclusion, the managements should think both staff and managements own the company jointly.
>> In conclusion, the management should consider both the staffs and the company\'s welfare.
>> CORRECT
So, it is more important than anything else to encourage staff who work diligently.
>> So, it is more important to encourage staffs to be diligent.
First of all, the management should enoughly pay for employee\'s performance with sharing the profit of the company.
>> First of all, the management should compensate the employee base on his/her performance.
If employees feel the paycheck is insufficient, they would work remissly or leave to anther company.
>> If employees are unsatisfied with their compensation, they terribly remiss their work or move to another company.
Surly, the paycheck includes welfare, vacations, and so on.
>> Their salary should include their incentives.
Second, the management try to make the resonable system of an organization.
>> Second, the management should be reasonable in creating the organization.
This means that human resources affairs, reporting system and opinion convergency system are so resonable that an employee\'s opinion or idea can be considered to be important things.
>> The higher ranks should respect their subordinates\' opinion or idea.
If that were so, employees would be likely to suggest good ideas and don\'t have quarrols about company.
>> If that were so, the employees would likely suggest good ideas to improve the company.
In conclusion, the managements should think both staff and managements own the company jointly.
>> In conclusion, the management should consider both the staffs and the company\'s welfare.
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