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2017-05-09 · 첨삭 강사 Rose

학생이 쓴 원문

The polarization and inequality of income and the concentration of wealth are really significant problems that most societies have never addressed. I think it's absolutely unfair that so much of the world's wealth is in the hands of so few people. In those billionaires, there seem to be royal families in rich countries, descendants of billionaires, sports stars, celebrities, and self-made billionaires. Illegal ways of inhering wealth surely needs to be rooted out. The reason why God made them billionaires is that they have to do something great for the society, which millionaires can't do. In Korea, most conglomerates are in a transitional stage from accumulating wealth to handing it over. Personally, I believe that our society has to be stricter than ever to accept the inheritance of vast amount of wealth. If our society is sound and healthy, "A great man may be born of humble parents," should be realized. I hope our society can ensure fair competition for all.

강사 첨삭

Thank you for doing your homework, Mr. [이름]!

It breaks my heart when I hear about corruption cases against politicians.

It is definitely unfair especially when a lot of my countrymen suffer from poverty, hunger, and poor health TT

Have a great day and see you!

The polarization and inequality of income and the concentration of wealth are really significant problems that most societies have never addressed.

>>CORRECT!
 I think it\'s absolutely unfair that so much of the world\'s wealth is in the hands of so few people.

>>CORRECT!
 In those billionaires, there seem to be royal families in rich countries, descendants of billionaires, sports stars, celebrities, and self-made billionaires.

>>CORRECT!
 Illegal ways of inhering wealth surely needs to be rooted out.

>> Illegal ways of inheriting wealth surely needs to be rooted out.
 The reason why God made them billionaires is that they have to do something great for the society, which millionaires can\'t do.

>>CORRECT!
 In Korea, most conglomerates are in a transitional stage from accumulating wealth to handing it over.

>>CORRECT!
 Personally, I believe that our society has to be stricter than ever to accept the inheritance of vast amount of wealth.

>>CORRECT!
 If our society is sound and healthy, \"A great man may be born of humble parents,\" should be realized.

>>CORRECT!
 I hope our society can ensure fair competition for all.

>>CORRECT!

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