homework

2017-06-02 · 첨삭 강사 Lynn

학생이 쓴 원문

1. Assignment Paris is situated in Northern France on the banks of the River Seine. 42 million visitors visit paris a year. Paris which is the most visited city in all the world is a city easily explored by Metro, taxi, and bicycle but her charms are best found on foot. The Arc de Triomphe, built by Napoleon, rises from the centre of Place Charles de Gaulle and offers commanding views of the 12 grand avenues, which radiate outwards like a star. The grand avenue is where Parisians come to dine, shop, enjoy the theater and to celebrate life. You can see many luxurious brand stores like Louis Vuitton, Chanel, Gucci and so on. So if you are a shopaholic like me, you are not supposed to visit there. The Louvre. Once a 14th Century Palace, today the Louvre is the most visited art gallery in the world. With over 35,000 artworks, her most famous residents are the Mona Lisa and the Venus But be warned, this collection of priceless artworks and antiquities is simply too vast to explore in just one day. If you have known the information of history about pictures, you can enjoy more admiring the painting and sculptures. And I recommend you to wear comfortable shoes because that place is too extensive to work.

강사 첨삭

Hello, Heidi!(\",)

Have you been to Paris? I think you\'ll love it there!

Take care!(\",)

~T. Lynn

1. Assignment
Paris is situated in Northern France on the banks of the River Seine.

>> correct!

42 million visitors visit paris a year.

>> 42 million visitors visit Paris in a year.

OR>> 42 million visitors visit Paris every year.

Paris which is the most visited city in all the world is a city easily explored by Metro, taxi, and bicycle but her charms are best found on foot.
>> Paris which is the most visited city in the world, is a city easily explored by Metro, taxi, and bicycle but her charms are best found on foot.
The Arc de Triomphe, built by Napoleon, rises from the centre of Place Charles de Gaulle and offers commanding views of the 12 grand avenues, which radiate outwards like a star.

>> correct!

The Grand avenue is where Parisians come to dine, shop, enjoy the theater and to celebrate life.

>> correct!

You can see many luxurious brand stores like Louis Vuitton, Chanel, Gucci and so on.

>> correct!

So if you are a shopaholic like me, you are not supposed to visit there.
>> correct!
The Louvre. Once a 14th Century Palace, today the Louvre is the most visited art gallery in the world.

>> correct!

With over 35,000 artworks, her most famous residents are the Mona Lisa and the Venus But be warned, this collection of priceless artworks and antiquities is simply too vast to explore in just one day.

>> correct!

If you have known the information of history about pictures, you can enjoy more admiring the painting and sculptures.

>> If you know the history of these pictures, you can enjoy more admiring the painting and sculptures.

OR>>If have learned history through pictures, you can enjoy more admiring the painting and sculptures.

And I recommend you to wear comfortable shoes because that place is too extensive to work.

>> And I recommend you to wear comfortable shoes because that place is too extensive to walk. 

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