Homework

2017-08-08 · 첨삭 강사 Rose

학생이 쓴 원문

Some parents buy their chilren whatever they ask for and allow them to do whatever they want. I think that this is not a good way to raise children. There can be bad consequences as they get elder. First, the children's personality is maybe selfish. Because They do whatever they want, they don't understand others and they can have a difficulty with others' relationships. Second, their patience becomes lower than other people. While they have been living, they haven't learned and experienced "no". Therefore, they can be frustrated when they are in difficult situations. Finally, they can be rude to their parents and friends etc. So they can't be loved by others and they become lonely person. In conclusion, parents have to raise their children moderate allowably.

강사 첨삭

Being an overly permissive parent has a detrimental impact on children.
A proper amount of reward is indeed acceptable^^
Thank you, [이름]^^
See you!
Some parents buy their chilren whatever they ask for and allow them to do whatever they want.
>>CORRECT!
I think that this is not a good way to raise children.
>>I don\'t think this is a good way to raise children.
There can be bad consequences as they get elder.
>>There can be bad consequences as they get older.
First, the children\'s personality is maybe selfish.
>> First, the children\'s personality may get selfish.
Because They do whatever they want, they don\'t understand others and they can have a difficulty with others\' relationships.
>>First, the children\'s personality may get selfish, because they do whatever they want, they don\'t understand others and they can have a difficulty with relationships.
Second, their patience becomes lower than other people.
>>CORRECT!
While they have been living, they haven\'t learned and experienced \"no\".
>>CORRECT!
Therefore, they can be frustrated when they are in difficult situations.
>>CORRECT!
Finally, they can be rude to their parents and friends etc. So they can\'t be loved by others and they become lonely person.
>> Finally, they can be rude to their parents and friends etc., so they can\'t be loved by others and they become lonely people.
In conclusion, parents have to raise their children moderate allowably.
>> In conclusion, parents have to raise their children moderately.

파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.

다른 영어첨삭교정 보기