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2017-08-21 · 첨삭 강사 Charry

학생이 쓴 원문

In my opinion, the essence of loyalty is not being influenced by other conditions. In North Eastern Asian countries like Korea or China, it's quite easy to find the stories about loyalty. Those stories shows how subordinates sacrificed their lives to serve their kings or masters. In those stories, the subordinates got praised more when the situations were more hopeless and the subordinates couldn't get anything good in the end. On this point of view, true loyalty requires unconditional support surely. However I personally don't plan to give up my life or happiness to show those kind of loyalty to someone. Unconditional supports easily can turn into unconditional sacrifices and it's quite violent phenomenon. People still need to loyal to others though. Therefore I personally want to adjust the concept of loyalty a bit and I think loyalty should make mutually beneficial results.

강사 첨삭

A wonderful Monday to you [이름]! (^^,)

How are you doing today?

I hope you\'re fine and everything is going smoothly for you.

I think loyalty does not necessarily require unconditional support.

Sometimes, we have to be very assertive and careful with whom we should be giving out our loyalty to.

In addition to that, before giving out unconditional support, we should also weigh if the decision made by a person in a situation conincides with our core values.

I could clearly see that you have taken your time to answer this assignment.

I\'m really happy about it.

You are very diligent and I\'m impressed.

I hope you don\'t get tired of giving your best.

See you again tomorrow.

Take care always and God bless.

~Teacher Charry :)



In my opinion, the essence of loyalty is not being influenced by other conditions.

>> CORRECT!

OR >> In my opinion, the real meaning of loyalty is not being influenced by other conditions.

In North Eastern Asian countries like Korea or China, it\'s quite easy to find the stories about loyalty.

>> CORRECT!

OR >> It\'s quite easy to find the stories about loyalty in North Eastern Asian countries like Korea or China

Those stories shows how subordinates sacrificed their lives to serve their kings or masters.

>> Those stories showed how subordinates sacrificed their lives to serve their kings or masters.

In those stories, the subordinates got praised more when the situations were more hopeless and the subordinates couldn\'t get anything good in the end.

>> CORRECT!

OR >> In those stories, the subordinates were praised a lot more when the situations were more hopeless and the subordinates couldn\'t get anything good in the end.

On this point of view, true loyalty requires unconditional support surely.

>> On this point of view, true loyalty surely requires unconditional support.

However I personally don\'t plan to give up my life or happiness to show those kind of loyalty to someone.

>> However, I personally don\'t plan to give up my life or happiness to show that kind of loyalty to someone.

Unconditional supports easily can turn into unconditional sacrifices and it\'s quite violent phenomenon.

>> Unconditional support can easily turn into unconditional sacrifices and it\'s quite violent phenomenon.

People still need to loyal to others though.

>> People still need to be loyal to others though.

Therefore I personally want to adjust the concept of loyalty a bit and I think loyalty should make mutually beneficial results.

>> Therefore, I personally want to adjust the concept of loyalty a bit and I think loyalty should make mutually beneficial results.

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