Homework
학생이 쓴 원문
I would choose a toy I recently saw on the Internet. I even don't know its name exactly but the function of the toy was really interesting to me. It's a coin sized cube which has meaningless buttons, switch and engraved parts. Surprisingly it's for people who want to click something without reason to ease their feeling when they do nothing. Instead of pen spinning or clicking pens, people can just hold the cube and fidget quietly. It's not even cheap because the advertisement says it's made with safe substances to hold it all the times. I personally think this is the most silly toy I've ever seen. However it shows how people living in 21c even can't spend their time and spend real money to just fill their empty hands. This is the result of collaboration of unstable minded people, capitalism and market mechanism so I want to put it in the timecapsule.
강사 첨삭
Hello, [이름]!
It\'s foggy in my city now. How about in yours?
Thank you for writing this awesome essay.
Most of your sentences are correct and really happy about it. ^^
If I were to choose an item, I would probably put a smart phone inside.
I am not quite sure how smart phones and computers will evolve in the future but it would be really interesting to put one in a time capsule.
Anyway, that\'s just my opinion.
I hope you\'re doing great.
See you tomorrow. ^_^
~Teacher Charry :)
I would choose a toy I recently saw on the Internet.
>> CORRECT!
OR >> I would choose a toy that I recently saw from the Internet.
I even don\'t know its name exactly but the function of the toy was really interesting to me.
>> CORRECT!
OR >> I even don\'t exactly know its name but the function of the toy was really interesting to me.
It\'s a coin sized cube which has meaningless buttons, switch and engraved parts.
>> CORRECT!
OR >> The toy is a coin sized cube which has meaningless buttons, switch and engraved parts.
Surprisingly it\'s for people who want to click something without reason to ease their feeling when they do nothing.
>> CORRECT!
OR >> Surprisingly it\'s for people who want to click something without reason to ease their emotion while doing nothing.
Instead of pen spinning or clicking pens, people can just hold the cube and fidget quietly.
>> CORRECT!
OR >> Instead of spinning or clicking pens, people can just hold the cube and fidget quietly.
It\'s not even cheap because the advertisement says it\'s made with safe substances to hold it all the times.
>> It\'s not even cheap because the advertisement says it\'s made with safe substances so users can hold it all the times.
I personally think this is the most silly toy I\'ve ever seen.
>> CORRECT!
OR >> I personally think this is the silliest toy I\'ve ever seen.
However it shows how people living in 21c even can\'t spend their time and spend real money to just fill their empty hands.
>> However it shows how people living in the 21st century can\'t even spend their time and spend real money to fill their empty hands.
This is the result of collaboration of unstable minded people, capitalism and market mechanism so I want to put it in the timecapsule.
>> This is the result of collaboration of unstable minded people, capitalism and market mechanism so I want to put it in the time capsule.
It\'s foggy in my city now. How about in yours?
Thank you for writing this awesome essay.
Most of your sentences are correct and really happy about it. ^^
If I were to choose an item, I would probably put a smart phone inside.
I am not quite sure how smart phones and computers will evolve in the future but it would be really interesting to put one in a time capsule.
Anyway, that\'s just my opinion.
I hope you\'re doing great.
See you tomorrow. ^_^
~Teacher Charry :)
I would choose a toy I recently saw on the Internet.
>> CORRECT!
OR >> I would choose a toy that I recently saw from the Internet.
I even don\'t know its name exactly but the function of the toy was really interesting to me.
>> CORRECT!
OR >> I even don\'t exactly know its name but the function of the toy was really interesting to me.
It\'s a coin sized cube which has meaningless buttons, switch and engraved parts.
>> CORRECT!
OR >> The toy is a coin sized cube which has meaningless buttons, switch and engraved parts.
Surprisingly it\'s for people who want to click something without reason to ease their feeling when they do nothing.
>> CORRECT!
OR >> Surprisingly it\'s for people who want to click something without reason to ease their emotion while doing nothing.
Instead of pen spinning or clicking pens, people can just hold the cube and fidget quietly.
>> CORRECT!
OR >> Instead of spinning or clicking pens, people can just hold the cube and fidget quietly.
It\'s not even cheap because the advertisement says it\'s made with safe substances to hold it all the times.
>> It\'s not even cheap because the advertisement says it\'s made with safe substances so users can hold it all the times.
I personally think this is the most silly toy I\'ve ever seen.
>> CORRECT!
OR >> I personally think this is the silliest toy I\'ve ever seen.
However it shows how people living in 21c even can\'t spend their time and spend real money to just fill their empty hands.
>> However it shows how people living in the 21st century can\'t even spend their time and spend real money to fill their empty hands.
This is the result of collaboration of unstable minded people, capitalism and market mechanism so I want to put it in the timecapsule.
>> This is the result of collaboration of unstable minded people, capitalism and market mechanism so I want to put it in the time capsule.
파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.