Homework
학생이 쓴 원문
If a society commits to one thing, other values would be neglected easily. Emphasizing technological progress can cause more negative side effects than focusing on other area. Because the nature of technological progress is pursuing efficiency. It uses numbers and other objective tools to show the result. Under the process, some values which were not expressed by number or other measurment before are now can be measured. I also seek the most efficient way or the fastest way usually but still think there are some values which can't be measured by numbers. For example, exploiting mineral resources might be necessary and useful to technological progress. Under the perspective of technological progress, beautiful scenery of great nature could be underestimated. In conclusion, technological progress considering other values is what we should pursue.
강사 첨삭
Hello there [이름]!
Thanks for this awesome essay.
Your opinions about this matter are really great.
I think people have the tendency to neglect other values because of technology.
One-on-one communication for instance is neglected nowadays due to the development of on-line communication
I think there are still some things that we need to pursue aside from technology.
Anyhow, this is just my perspective.
I hope you\'re doing great.
See you in class tomorrow.
~Teacher Charry ^^
If a society commits to one thing, other values would be neglected easily.
>> CORRECT!
OR >> If a society commits to one thing, other values would be easily neglected.
Emphasizing technological progress can cause more negative side effects than focusing on other area.
>> Emphasizing technological progress can cause more negative side effects than focusing on other areas.
Because the nature of technological progress is pursuing efficiency.
>> It\'s because the nature of technological progress is pursuing efficiency.
It uses numbers and other objective tools to show the result.
>> CORRECT!
OR >> It utilizes numbers and other objective tools to show the result.
Under the process, some values which were not expressed by number or other measurment before are now can be measured.
>> Under the process, some values which were not expressed in number or other measurements before can now be measured.
I also seek the most efficient way or the fastest way usually but still think there are some values which can\'t be measured by numbers.
>> I also usually seek the most efficient way or the fastest way but I still think there are some values which can\'t be measured by numbers
For example, exploiting mineral resources might be necessary and useful to technological progress.
>> CORRECT!
OR >> For instance, exploiting mineral resources might be necessary and useful to technological progress.
Under the perspective of technological progress, beautiful scenery of great nature could be underestimated.
>> Under the perspective of technological progress, the beautiful scenery of great nature could be underestimated.
In conclusion, technological progress considering other values is what we should pursue.
>> In conclusion, technological progress considering other values are what we should pursue.
Thanks for this awesome essay.
Your opinions about this matter are really great.
I think people have the tendency to neglect other values because of technology.
One-on-one communication for instance is neglected nowadays due to the development of on-line communication
I think there are still some things that we need to pursue aside from technology.
Anyhow, this is just my perspective.
I hope you\'re doing great.
See you in class tomorrow.
~Teacher Charry ^^
If a society commits to one thing, other values would be neglected easily.
>> CORRECT!
OR >> If a society commits to one thing, other values would be easily neglected.
Emphasizing technological progress can cause more negative side effects than focusing on other area.
>> Emphasizing technological progress can cause more negative side effects than focusing on other areas.
Because the nature of technological progress is pursuing efficiency.
>> It\'s because the nature of technological progress is pursuing efficiency.
It uses numbers and other objective tools to show the result.
>> CORRECT!
OR >> It utilizes numbers and other objective tools to show the result.
Under the process, some values which were not expressed by number or other measurment before are now can be measured.
>> Under the process, some values which were not expressed in number or other measurements before can now be measured.
I also seek the most efficient way or the fastest way usually but still think there are some values which can\'t be measured by numbers.
>> I also usually seek the most efficient way or the fastest way but I still think there are some values which can\'t be measured by numbers
For example, exploiting mineral resources might be necessary and useful to technological progress.
>> CORRECT!
OR >> For instance, exploiting mineral resources might be necessary and useful to technological progress.
Under the perspective of technological progress, beautiful scenery of great nature could be underestimated.
>> Under the perspective of technological progress, the beautiful scenery of great nature could be underestimated.
In conclusion, technological progress considering other values is what we should pursue.
>> In conclusion, technological progress considering other values are what we should pursue.
파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.