Homework

Hello there [이름]! :)

Thank you very much for writing an essay in our composition board.

I think you\'re right when you said that happiness and success all depend on our choices.

Our choices define who we truly are and most of the time, we need to stand up to those choices.

Please continue making great essays.

I\'m really happy about it.

I hope you\'re doing great.

See you again tomorrow.

~Teacher Charry :)

I want to believe that people can get success and happiness by their own efforts.

>> CORRECT!

OR >> I want to believe that people can get success and happiness through their own efforts.

Because believing I can make my own success and happiness is better way to live with hope.

>> It\'s because believing I can make my own success and happiness is a better way to live with hope.

Some kind of happiness depend on individuals\' choices.

>> Some kind of happiness depends on an individuals\' choices.

Feeling how much happiness doesn\'t depend on objective criteria so people can feel differently in same situation.

>> [Do you mean]: Feeling a great amount of happiness doesn\'t depend on objective criteria so people can feel differently in the same situation.

For example, I\'m used to thinking making a lot of money is a critical factor to be happy.

>> CORRECT!

OR >> For instance, I\'m used to thinking making a lot of money is a critical factor to be happy.

However many studies show that a level of income itself doesn\'t matter to be happy.

>> However, many studies show that a level of income itself doesn\'t matter to be happy.

If I change my goal or aim other thing, I could feel happiness or think I get success even when no external situation has changed.

>> If I change my goal or aim for another thing, I could feel happiness or think I can get success even when nothing in the external situation has changed.

It\'s impossible to control everything.

>> CORRECT!

OR >> Controlling everything is impossible.

Therefore maybe the most effective way to feel happiness and get success is setting a practical and reasonable goal and do best to achieve it.

>> Therefore, maybe the most effective way to feel happiness and get success is setting a practical and reasonable goal and to do one\'s best to achieve it.

Then I can minimize a risk which factors beyond my control ruin my efforts and make me helpless and sad.

>> Then I can minimize the risk factors which are beyond my control, can ruin my efforts and make me feel helpless and sad.