Homework
학생이 쓴 원문
I think environment affects crimes. If people can't find any hope and don't think they can success when they follow the rules, they would easily commit crimes. This is proven by many real case studies. After 30 years from abortion became not illegal thing in US, crime rate was significantly decreased. This was because women who couldn't provide proper environment to children aborted the pregnancy. However I personally don't like social responsibility theory about crimes. It feels like that kind of explanation sometimes give indulgence to criminals. Not every people under same situation choose to commit crimes. Some people still struggle to survive within legal boundaries. Therefore my conclusion is, environment surely affects crimes but individuals' factors and their own choices also make the result.
강사 첨삭
Hi, [이름]!
It\'s finally Friday! ^_^
Thank you for writing this nice essay.
I really love reading your opinions.
I think the environment is not the sole reason why people commit crimes.
Although it does affect the result, there are also other contributing factors.
I hope you\'re doing great.
I\'ll see you again on Monday.
~Teacher Charry :)
I think environment affects crimes.
>> I think the environment affects crimes.
If people can\'t find any hope and don\'t think they can success when they follow the rules, they would easily commit crimes.
>> If people can\'t find any hope and don\'t think they can succeed when they follow the rules, they would easily commit crimes.
This is proven by many real case studies.
>> CORRECT!
OR >> This can be proven by many real case studies.
After 30 years from abortion became not illegal thing in US, crime rate was significantly decreased.
>> Thirty years after legalizing abortion in the US, the crime rate significantly decreased.
This was because women who couldn\'t provide proper environment to children aborted the pregnancy.
>> CORRECT!
OR >> This was because women who couldn\'t provide proper environment to their children terminated their pregnancy.
However I personally don\'t like social responsibility theory about crimes.
>> However, I personally don\'t like the social responsibility theory about crimes.
It feels like that kind of explanation sometimes give indulgence to criminals.
>> It feels like that kind of explanation sometimes gives indulgence to criminals.
Not every people under same situation choose to commit crimes.
>> Not every person under the same situation choose to commit crimes.
Some people still struggle to survive within legal boundaries.
>> Some people still struggle to survive within the legal boundaries.
Therefore my conclusion is, environment surely affects crimes but individuals\' factors and their own choices also make the result.
>> Therefore, my conclusion is, the environment surely affects crimes but individual factors and their own choices also affect the result.
It\'s finally Friday! ^_^
Thank you for writing this nice essay.
I really love reading your opinions.
I think the environment is not the sole reason why people commit crimes.
Although it does affect the result, there are also other contributing factors.
I hope you\'re doing great.
I\'ll see you again on Monday.
~Teacher Charry :)
I think environment affects crimes.
>> I think the environment affects crimes.
If people can\'t find any hope and don\'t think they can success when they follow the rules, they would easily commit crimes.
>> If people can\'t find any hope and don\'t think they can succeed when they follow the rules, they would easily commit crimes.
This is proven by many real case studies.
>> CORRECT!
OR >> This can be proven by many real case studies.
After 30 years from abortion became not illegal thing in US, crime rate was significantly decreased.
>> Thirty years after legalizing abortion in the US, the crime rate significantly decreased.
This was because women who couldn\'t provide proper environment to children aborted the pregnancy.
>> CORRECT!
OR >> This was because women who couldn\'t provide proper environment to their children terminated their pregnancy.
However I personally don\'t like social responsibility theory about crimes.
>> However, I personally don\'t like the social responsibility theory about crimes.
It feels like that kind of explanation sometimes give indulgence to criminals.
>> It feels like that kind of explanation sometimes gives indulgence to criminals.
Not every people under same situation choose to commit crimes.
>> Not every person under the same situation choose to commit crimes.
Some people still struggle to survive within legal boundaries.
>> Some people still struggle to survive within the legal boundaries.
Therefore my conclusion is, environment surely affects crimes but individuals\' factors and their own choices also make the result.
>> Therefore, my conclusion is, the environment surely affects crimes but individual factors and their own choices also affect the result.
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