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2017-10-12 · 첨삭 강사 Sophia

학생이 쓴 원문

My wife sometimes takes care of an elementary school girl as a part-time job at home, whose mother has a busy job. She seems hopelessly addicted to watching TV all the time because her mother has kept her from watching it since she was younger. Fortunately, what she likes to watch is nothing but cartoon programs on TV. When I was a child, there was no TV at my home, even in my whole hometown, so children used to be crazy about reading cartoon books. That is why I partially agree that children can learn effectively by watching TV. TV must have some positive function such as giving useful information and healthy amusement to children. However, we usually call TV a boob tube or an idiot box. It means that TV can never live up to our expectation and hope in terms of its right function. We can easily imagine foolish people who are unconsciously indulging in TV without deep thinking. We can never acquire any improvement of creativity and challenge spirit by watching TV. There is an old saying that "Old habits die hard." Therefore, we have to raise our kids under the ambiance conducive to reading books instead of watching TV.

강사 첨삭

HELLO MR. [이름],
Thank you for sharing your opinion with me regarding watching TV.
I\'m very surprised that the small girl whom your wife is taking care of right now loves watching TV. 
Well, that\'s really the consequence of having busy parents.
Anyway, I agree with you that we need to encourage the kids to love reading instead of watching TV.
Have a nice day ahead!
Teacher Sophia
Here are your corrections:
My wife sometimes takes care of an elementary school girl as a part-time job at home, whose mother has a busy job. 
>> CORRECT 
She seems hopelessly addicted to watching TV all the time because her mother has kept her from watching it since she was younger.
>> CORRECT 
Fortunately, what she likes to watch is nothing but cartoon programs on TV.
>> CORRECT 
When I was a child, there was no TV at my home, even in my whole hometown, so children used to be crazy about reading cartoon books.
>> CORRECT 
That is why I partially agree that children can learn effectively by watching TV.
>> CORRECT 
TV must have some positive function such as giving useful information and healthy amusement to children.
>> CORRECT 
However, we usually call TV a boob tube or an idiot box.
>> CORRECT 
It means that TV can never live up to our expectation and hope in terms of its right function.
>> CORRECT 
We can easily imagine foolish people who are unconsciously indulging in TV without deep thinking.
>> CORRECT 
We can never acquire any improvement of creativity and challenge spirit by watching TV. 
>> CORRECT 
There is an old saying that \"Old habits die hard.\"
>> CORRECT 
Therefore, we have to raise our kids under the ambiance conducive to reading books instead of watching TV.
>> CORRECT 

파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.

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