HOMEWORK
학생이 쓴 원문
When I was at RAND corporation in California as a research fellow, I was very surprised at its advanced Intranet system.
At the time, the Internet wasn't yet introduced in Korea.
Hundreds of researchers were conveniently using it when they tried to find some useful materials in the library, they shared some information, and they exchanged texting.
Now that Korea became one of the most advanced Internet nations in the world, Korean people really enjoy several kinds of on-line communication especially using smartphones.
However, I believe loneliness can not be healed by using some devices and tools.
Instead, modern people seem to feel lonely more and more.
It's true that more people tend to commit suicide and suffer from mental illness es than the past.
For me, social media strengthen the relationship and friendship among people whom have been getting along with so far, but they don't seem to much help me out with making new friends.
Social media have been exploited as vicious means to commit crimes.
That is why we need to be careful when it comes to making friends by using on-line communication even though it is surely useful and enjoyable.
강사 첨삭
Hello MR. [이름],
Thank you for sharing your ideas with me today.
Have a nice day ahead!
Teacher Sophia
Here are your corrections:
When I was at RAND corporation in California as a research fellow, I was very surprised at its advanced Intranet system.
>> CORRECT
At the time, the Internet wasn\'t yet introduced in Korea.
At the time, the Internet wasn\'t yet introduced in Korea.
>> CORRECT
Hundreds of researchers were conveniently using it when they tried to find some useful materials in the library, they shared some information, and they exchanged texting.
Hundreds of researchers were conveniently using it when they tried to find some useful materials in the library, they shared some information, and they exchanged texting.
>> CORRECT
Now that Korea became one of the most advanced Internet nations in the world, Korean people really enjoy several kinds of on-line communication especially using smartphones.
Now that Korea became one of the most advanced Internet nations in the world, Korean people really enjoy several kinds of on-line communication especially using smartphones.
>> CORRECT
However, I believe loneliness can not be healed by using some devices and tools.
Instead, modern people seem to feel lonely more and more.
However, I believe loneliness can not be healed by using some devices and tools.
Instead, modern people seem to feel lonely more and more.
>> CORRECT
It\'s true that more people tend to commit suicide and suffer from mental illness es than the past.
It\'s true that more people tend to commit suicide and suffer from mental illness es than the past.
>> It\'s true that more people tend to commit suicide and suffer from mental illnesses than the past.
For me, social media strengthen the relationship and friendship among people whom have been getting along with so far, but they don\'t seem to much help me out with making new friends.
For me, social media strengthen the relationship and friendship among people whom have been getting along with so far, but they don\'t seem to much help me out with making new friends.
>> CORRECT
Social media have been exploited as vicious means to commit crimes.
Social media have been exploited as vicious means to commit crimes.
>> The social media has been exploited as vicious means to commit crimes.
That is why we need to be careful when it comes to making friends by using on-line communication even though it is surely useful and enjoyable.
That is why we need to be careful when it comes to making friends by using on-line communication even though it is surely useful and enjoyable.
>> CORRECT
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