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2017-12-14 · 첨삭 강사 Charry

학생이 쓴 원문

I want to say that people shouldn't limit their possibility. However I also think it's not a realistic idea that people always should strive to improve themselves. I found out that opening too much possibilities in my life often makes me tired. People usually say I can do whatever I want if I try hard and it's never late to start something you really want to do. I agree that those words can give hope or positive energy. However I think there are some practical limitations in real life. For example, I don't think I can practice law in a courtroom as a lawyer in US, even if I finish LLM course and get a lawyer licence in US. Because there are already many lawyers in that country and my saying about US constitution would not be a remark carrying weight. It will be much better for me to find a job which I can use Korean lawyer licence in international organizations if I want to work abroad. In some ways, accepting who I am can be more practical way to live.

강사 첨삭

Hi, [이름]! 
It\'s good to read one of your essays again. 
I loved reading about your thoughts and opinions. 
I think we should pursue our goals but not to the extent of becoming unrealistic. 
Personally, I am a goal-getter but I am also a realist.
Being realistic allows me to set and plan achievable goals and standards. 
Anyhow, that\'s just my opinion about this matter. 
I hope you\'re doing great. 
See you tomorrow. ^^
~Teacher Charry
I want to say that people shouldn\'t limit their possibility. 
>> CORRECT!
OR >> I would like to express that people shouldn\'t limit their possibility. 
However I also think it\'s not a realistic idea that people always should strive to improve themselves. 
>> However, I also think it\'s not a realistic idea that people should always strive to improve themselves. 
I found out that opening too much possibilities in my life often makes me tired. 
>> CORRECT!
OR >> I realized that opening too many possibilities in my life often makes me tired. 
People usually say I can do whatever I want if I try hard and it\'s never late to start something you really want to do. 
>> CORRECT!
OR >> People often say that I can do whatever I want if I try hard and it\'s never late to start something you really want to do. 
I agree that those words can give hope or positive energy. 
>> CORRECT!
OR >> It is true that those words can give hope or positive energy. 
However I think there are some practical limitations in real life. 
>> However, I think there are some practical limitations in real life. 
For example, I don\'t think I can practice law in a courtroom as a lawyer in US, even if I finish LLM course and get a lawyer licence in US. 
>>  For example, I don\'t think I can practice law in a courtroom as a lawyer in the US, even if I finish the LLM course and get a lawyer\'s license in the US. 
Because there are already many lawyers in that country and my saying about US constitution would not be a remark carrying weight. 
>> [Do you mean]: It\'s because there are already many lawyers in that country and my opinion about the US constitution would not be a remark that carries any weight. 
It will be much better for me to find a job which I can use Korean lawyer licence in international organizations if I want to work abroad. 
>> It will be much better for me to find a job where I can use my Korean lawyer\'s license in international organizations if I want to work abroad. 
In some ways, accepting who I am can be more practical way to live.
>> In some ways, accepting who I am can be a more practical way to live.

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