Homework
학생이 쓴 원문
The role of family has been changed but I still think parenting would better occur within a marriage situation. Because in many cases in real world, families composed of married couple have more stable condition to raise children. I don't mean that single mother or single father loves less or cares less their children than married couple. However if children have both mother and father they have 2 people who love them. As I wrote at first, there are diverse form of families in modern society though. I think what we need is providing proper social aid or system to every type of family. If society fixes the so called 'normal' concept of family and decides parenting only within a marriage situation is good, that would be a violence and discrimination. As society has been changed and there are many parenting cases not within a marriage situation, the government should provide appropriate social policies to all kind of parenting situations.
강사 첨삭
Hello there [이름]!
Wow! We are down to the last nine days of this year.
I\'m somewhat nervous. I don\'t know why.
Anyhow, how are you doing today?
I hope you\'re having a great time with your mom.
Thank you for writing this beautiful essay.
You\'re right when you said there are many parenting styles in our society today that do not conform to the standards.
But I think it is not the style that has a problem but the standards.
They\'re too rigid and too ideal.
Anyhow, that is just how I see it.
See you again next week.
Take care always! ^^
~Teacher Charry
The role of family has been changed but I still think parenting would better occur within a marriage situation. >> The role of family has been changed but I still think parenting would better occur within a marriage.
Because in many cases in real world, families composed of married couple have more stable condition to raise children.
>> It\'s because in many cases in the real world, families composed of a married couple have a more stable condition in raising children.
I don\'t mean that single mother or single father loves less or cares less their children than married couple.
>> I don\'t mean that a single mother or a single father loves less or cares less for their children than married couple do.
However if children have both mother and father they have 2 people who love them.
>> However, if children have both a mother and a father, they have two people who love them.
As I wrote at first, there are diverse form of families in modern society though.
>> [Do you mean]: At first, I\'ve thought of the diverse forms of families in modern society though.
I think what we need is providing proper social aid or system to every type of family.
>> I think what we need is providing a proper social aid or system to every type of family.
If society fixes the so called \'normal\' concept of family and decides parenting only within a marriage situation is good, that would be a violence and discrimination.
>> If society fixes the so called \'normal\' concept of family and decides that good parenting only exists within a marriage then that would be a violence and discrimination.
As society has been changed and there are many parenting cases not within a marriage situation, the government should provide appropriate social policies to all kind of parenting situations.
>> As society changes, there are many parenting cases that are not within a marriage. The government should provide appropriate social policies to all kinds of parenting situations.
파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.