HOMEWORK
학생이 쓴 원문
강사 첨삭
Good afternoon Kid,
You did good on your homework. You were able to expand your answer.
See you later!
Amanda ^-^
People need hobbies to spend their life more valuable.
>> OR: People need hobbies to make their life more meaningful.
When they didn\'t do anyting in their break time in life, they will miss their break time.
>> If they won\'t do anything during their break time in life, they will miss their break time.
>> OR: If they won\'t do anything during their break time, they will miss the opportunity to enjoy their lives.
And people make hobies to be healthier.
>> People find or create hobbies to live a healthier life.
They can make their body healthier in the break time.
>> They can make their body healthier during their break time.
When they don\'t do it, they will go to the hospital. That is why people need hobbies in their life.
>> OR: If they don\'t engage in healthy hobbies, they will be vulnerable to some kind of diseases. That is why people need hobbies in their lives.
파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.