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2018-04-17 · 첨삭 강사 Sharon

학생이 쓴 원문

My best birthday memory is just having the birthday party with my friends. I don't know why, but there was a lot of moneyboxes in the presents. So it was my goal to fill all the money boxes that they gave me. And I succeed it with the coins that I find it at the road. The kind of the money boxes were Hello Kitty, penguin, piggy bank, ect.

강사 첨삭

Hi Seong Won!

That truly sounds like a fun party.

I can just imagine you enjoying your gifts.

Thank you for your composition!

I\'ll talk to you tomorrow!

~~ Teacher Sharon

My best birthday memory is just having the birthday party with my friends.
>> My best birthday memory is just having a birthday party with my friends.
I don\'t know why, but there was a lot of moneyboxes in the presents.
>> I don\'t know why, but there were a lot of money boxes in the presents.
So it was my goal to fill all the money boxes that they gave me.
>> Correct
And I succeed it with the coins that I find it at the road.
>> And I succeeded by filling them with the coins that I found on the road.
The kind of the money boxes were Hello Kitty, penguin, piggy bank, ect.
>>The money boxes included Hello Kitty, a penguin, a piggy bank, and others.

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