homework

2018-05-04 · 첨삭 강사 Gracelyn

학생이 쓴 원문

Hello, Gracelyn. I'm so sorry I missed your phone. I'm in hometown that's why I couldn't recieve skpe. By the way, I missed delaying class. I'm sorry. I'll see you next week. Below is a English composition. What is your opinion about women in the military? My opinion ... Korean men are obliged to serve in the military. So I think it would be okay to be able to make choices whether women or men. There is a girl friend who was a soldier. She is working at a company in now. She sometimes says that military life has helped to make strong her life. Maybe, Some people will not so. So I think it should be a matter of choice, not force.

강사 첨삭

Hello Ms. [Name]. I am sad because you didn\'t attend our class. :( Anyway, I will see you on Monday. Enjoy your stay there! Take care!
T. Gracelyn

What is your opinion about women in the military? 
My opinion ...

Korean men are obliged to serve in the military.
>>correct
So I think it would be okay to be able to make choices whether women or men.
>>So I think it is okay if women will also be in the military.
There is a girl friend who was a soldier. 
>>I have a friend who was a soldier.
She is working at a company in now. 
>>She is working in a company now.
She sometimes says that military life has helped to make strong her life. 
>>She said that her experiences and training when she was in the military helped her to become a strong woman.
Maybe, Some people will not so.
>>Maybe some people will not think that way.
So I think it should be a matter of choice, not force.
>>So I think it\'s a matter of choice.

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