homework
학생이 쓴 원문
ESSAY : Are there homeless shelters in your country? Are there many homeless people where you live? What is your opinion regarding these homeless people?
I think there are some homeless shelters in Korea, but not many. When I went to Seoul station, I saw many homeless around the station alley. Some of them kept a place around the station square, and they were drinking and smoking all around the square. So I didn't feel good, and hoped that they need some shelters as soon as possible. Because the square is very crowed with people to use and even many forign tourists come and go through it. It could make a bad image of Korea. So I think we shold build some shelters for homeless. Then, the shelters should help the homeless live by themselves. Thus, the shelters need to provide some rooms, food, clothes, and even educations too.
강사 첨삭
Hello Jake! Thank you for answering the homework I have prepared for the class. I hope to see you once in a while. Good luck with your IELTS practice. ^_^
~T. IRENE~
I think there are some homeless shelters in Korea, but not many.
>>> Correct.
When I went to Seoul station, I saw many homeless around the station alley.
>>> Correct.
OR>>> When I went to Seoul station, I saw many homeless people around the station alley.
Some of them kept a place around the station square, and they were drinking and smoking all around the square.
>>> Correct.
So I didn\'t feel good, and hoped that they need some shelters as soon as possible.
>>> So I didn\'t feel good, and hoped that they will go to some shelters as soon as possible.
Because the square is very crowed with people to use and even many forign tourists come and go through it.
>>>Because the square is very crowed with people who use it and even many foreign tourists come and go through it.
It could make a bad image of Korea.
>>> It could make a bad image for Korea.
So I think we shold build some shelters for homeless.
>>> So I think we should build some shelters for the homeless.
Then, the shelters should help the homeless live by themselves.
>>> These shelters should help the homeless live by themselves.
>>> These shelters should help the homeless become independent.
Thus, the shelters need to provide some rooms, food, clothes, and even educations too.
>>> Correct.
~T. IRENE~
I think there are some homeless shelters in Korea, but not many.
>>> Correct.
When I went to Seoul station, I saw many homeless around the station alley.
>>> Correct.
OR>>> When I went to Seoul station, I saw many homeless people around the station alley.
Some of them kept a place around the station square, and they were drinking and smoking all around the square.
>>> Correct.
So I didn\'t feel good, and hoped that they need some shelters as soon as possible.
>>> So I didn\'t feel good, and hoped that they will go to some shelters as soon as possible.
Because the square is very crowed with people to use and even many forign tourists come and go through it.
>>>Because the square is very crowed with people who use it and even many foreign tourists come and go through it.
It could make a bad image of Korea.
>>> It could make a bad image for Korea.
So I think we shold build some shelters for homeless.
>>> So I think we should build some shelters for the homeless.
Then, the shelters should help the homeless live by themselves.
>>> These shelters should help the homeless live by themselves.
>>> These shelters should help the homeless become independent.
Thus, the shelters need to provide some rooms, food, clothes, and even educations too.
>>> Correct.
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