homework

2018-06-05 · 첨삭 강사 Gracelyn

학생이 쓴 원문

Writing Composition: What is the most positive change you have experienced in your life? In the past, I couldn't speak English at all. But "Working Holiday" in Canada made me totally different. In 2009, I didn't think of going abroad. However, my uncle told me that I needed to study English. And He suggested that I work at his gas station in Canada. So, I applied to get the visa and I succeded to get it. During the period, I got a lot of experiences that I had never had done before. I lived in a town called "Battleford" which is very small town. Local citizens were very friendly. And they didn't hesitate to be a freind with me who looks different with themselves. So I could get several friends from high school students to old ages. Especially old ages tried to make a conversation with this little stranger, and it really helped me. At first time, I even couldn't say "Hi", but after a year I could share my ideas and have a small talk with them.

강사 첨삭

Hello there Jake! Thank you very much for sending in your composition. I appreciate the effort you\'d exerted.
I will talk to you later. ^^
T. Gracelyn

In the past, I couldn\'t speak English at all. 
>>correct
But \"Working Holiday\" in Canada made me totally different.
>>However, when I worked in Canada, it made me totally different.
In 2009, I didn\'t think of going abroad. 
>>correct
However, my uncle told me that I needed to study English. 
>>correct
And He suggested that I work at his gas station in Canada. 
>>He told me to work at his gas station in Canada.
So, I applied to get the visa and I succeded to get it. 
>>So I applied for my working visa and fortunately I was able to get it.
During the period, I got a lot of experiences that I had never had done before.
>>During my stay there, I had a lot of experiences that I had never done before.
I lived in a town called \"Battleford\" which is very small town. 
>>I lived in Battleford which is a very small town.
Local citizens were very friendly. 
>>correct
And they didn\'t hesitate to be a freind with me who looks different with themselves. 
>>They were not hesitant to make friends with me even though I look different from them.
So I could get several friends from high school students to old ages. 
>>So I was able to meet young and old friends.
Especially old ages tried to make a conversation with this little stranger, and it really helped me. 
>>Old people tried to have a conversation with me and it really helped me a lot.
At first time, I even couldn\'t say \"Hi\", but after a year I could share my ideas and have a small talk with them.
>>I couldn\'t even say \'Hi\' at first but after a year, I could already share my ideas and have a small talk with them.

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