homework

2018-10-01 · 첨삭 강사 Dee

학생이 쓴 원문

If there are not any holidays, Our life gradually gets unhappy . People will lose the passion for a life, easily exhausted and lose the enthusiasm to work. It result in reduction of Happy Planet Index. On the contrary, The rate of suicide will increase. The reason we work hard is to get a more happy life.

강사 첨삭

Hi Young! Thank you once again for completing your task. I can feel the sincerity of your concern in your statements. Very good! Check on some corrections I made for you below.

~~T. Dee :)


If there are not any holidays, Our life gradually gets unhappy .

>>If there are no holidays, our lives will gradually be unhappy.

People will lose the passion for a life, easily exhausted and lose the enthusiasm to work.

>>People will lose their passion to live because they will be exhausted and lose their enthusiasm to work.

It result in reduction of Happy Planet Index.

>>It will result in the lower rate of a Happy Planet Index.

On the contrary, The rate of suicide will increase.

>>The rate of suicide will also increase.
The reason we work hard is to get a more happy life.

>>The reason we work hard is to get a more meaningful life.


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