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2018-10-01 · 첨삭 강사 Beth

학생이 쓴 원문

> What might happen if you won’t use any phones in a day, week, month or year? I don't need to think about situation where I can't use a cell phone in a week. Just in a day when I can't use it, works for me to operate will be stopped immediately. Also, I will be disconnected with people connected with me because I always communicate with those using phone. Most of all, I don't want to imagine that I can't have something to do using smart phone when I'm on the bus or subways. I really hate to waste times, so that I always watch news during movement in order to save the times. Plus, I can't listen to musics which are the biggest delight to me in my life. Finally, if I can't use cell phone only in a day, I couldn't live a day systemically. Because writing my schedule on google calendar, I always receive alarms in calendar through smart phone.

강사 첨삭

Hello Jin Young. Thank you for this. I appreciate the effort. So basically, your smartphone is a necessity. Without it, it\'s difficult to perform your tasks on a daily basis. Well, I guess that\'s a common thing for most people these days. We are too dependent on our devices. 

- T. Beth

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I don\'t need to think about situation where I can\'t use a cell phone in a week.

>>>>   I don\'t need to think of a situation where I can\'t use a cell phone for a week.   

Just in a day when I can\'t use it, works for me to operate will be stopped immediately.

>>>>   When I can\'t use it in a day, I wouldn\'t immediately be able to proceed with my work.   

Also, I will be disconnected with people connected with me because I always communicate with those using phone.

>>>>   Also, I will be disconnected to people I always communicate with usignt he phone.   

Most of all, I don\'t want to imagine that I can\'t have something to do using smart phone when I\'m on the bus or subways.

>>>>  Most of all (Moreover), I don\'t want to imagine that I would have nothing to do without my smartphone when I\'m on the bus or the subway.    

I really hate to waste times, so that I always watch news during movement in order to save the times.

>>>>  O really hate to waste time, so I always watch news during commute in order to save time.    

Plus, I can\'t listen to musics which are the biggest delight to me in my life.

>>>>  Plus, I won\'t be able to listen to songs that are the biggest delight to me in life.   

Finally, if I can\'t use cell phone only in a day, I couldn\'t live a day systemically.

>>>>  In conclusion, if I can\'t use cell phone only in a day, I wouldn\'t be able to live my day systematically.    

Because writing my schedule on google calendar, I always receive alarms in calendar through smart phone.

>>>>   Because when I write a memo on my schedule in Google calendar, I always receive notification alarms through smart phone.   



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