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2018-10-08 · 첨삭 강사 Jeny

학생이 쓴 원문

What problems does the Internet create? ==> Nowadays, we cannot live without internet. In my case, I connect to the SKYPE when I wake up for studying English. After that, I connect the NETFLIX by my smartphone and I listen English while I am driving a car to the company. And then, I turn on my laptop and I connect the company web page and I start my work in the company. Almost of my works are connected with the internet. If I cannot use the internet, I cannot do my works in the company and cannot study English with you. And we use the smart phone and it makes us to connect the internet easily. When I was young and there isn't a smart phone, if I met my friends, I talk with them about our life. Unfortunately, in present, although young people meet their friends, they talk each other my messenger. For the reason, the conversation keeps disconnecting.

강사 첨삭

Good morning, James !

I\'m glad that you are doing well in English. I commend you for your improvements.

I am more than happy to help you to become much more fluent! ^^

Please, check the corrections that I\'ve made so that you\'ll not commit the same mistake.

~T. Jeny


   

What problems does the Internet create?
>>correct
==>
Nowadays, we cannot live without the internet.

>>correct

In my case, I connect to the SKYPE when I wake up for studying English.

>>In my case, I connect to SKYPE when I wake up for studying English.
 After that, I connect the NETFLIX by my smartphone and I listen English while I am driving a car to the company.

>>After that, I connect to NETFLIX by my smartphone and I listen to an English conversation while I am driving a car to the company.
 And then, I turn on my laptop and I connect the company web page and I start my work in the company.

>>And then, I turn on my laptop and I connect to our company\'s web page and start working.
 Almost of my works are connected with the internet.

>>Almost all of my work is connected with the internet.
 If I cannot use the internet, I cannot do my works in the company and cannot study English with you.

>> If I cannot use the internet, I cannot do my work in the company and I cannot study English with you.
 And we use the smart phone and it makes us to connect the internet easily.

>>Thus we also use the smartphones and we can easily connect it with the internet.
 When I was young and there isn\'t a smart phone, if I met my friends, I talk with them about our life. 

>> When I was young, there wasn\'t a smartphone, so if I meet my friends, we usually talk about life.
 Unfortunately, in present, although young people meet their friends, they talk each other my messenger. 

>>At present although young people meet their friends they still talk with each other through messenger. 
 For the reason, the conversation keeps disconnecting.

>>As a conclusion, there is a continuous conversation. 


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