homework

2018-11-07 · 첨삭 강사 Ally

학생이 쓴 원문

i would invent health care device. because it is very important that healthcare. so many people increase long life also health skill is step by step increase i thank, healthcare device will makes earning money

강사 첨삭

Hi [이름]!


I can feel how passionate you are about this healthcare device.

You have also talked about it in class.

I hope someday you\'ll be able to make it real! ^^



~~t. Ally




--------------------------------


i would invent health care device. 

>> I would invent a healthcare device.

 because it is very important that healthcare.

>> Because healthcare is very important.


 so many people increase long life also health skill is step by step increase

>> So many people\'s life expectancy will be increased step by step.


 i thank, healthcare device will makes earning money
.

>> I also think that this healthcare device will help me earn a lot of money.

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