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2019-03-05 · 첨삭 강사 Josephine

학생이 쓴 원문

Express our idea about the topic on \"Video games contribute to youth violence\". I think it is possible to contribute to youth violence. I have a nephew and my nephew likes video games. Sometimes he is little bit violent. Why I am thinking video games contribute to youth violence is because of that reason. My nephew did not tell any bad words before playing video games. However, he knows a lot of bad word and sometimes he act like video game\'s character. So, I think it affects to be violent.

강사 첨삭

Hi, Charlie!


I agree that because of video games some young people become violent the way the speak or act. Therefore, we have to be responsible in guiding the young people in our family. It\'s not bad to paly video games but we have to be aware of what bad things can it brings to us and to the children!


~Teacher Josephine~

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I think it is possible to contribute to youth violence.

>> I think it is possible that video games can contribute to youth violence.


 I have a nephew and my nephew likes video games.

>> CORRECT


Sometimes he is little bit violent.

>> CORRECT


Why I am thinking video games contribute to youth violence is because of that reason.

>> Why I think that video games contribute to youth violence because that is how I observed my nephew.



My nephew did not tell any bad words before playing video games.

>> My nephew used to not curse or tell bad words before video games.


However, he knows a lot of bad word and sometimes he act like video game\'s character.

>> However, he knows a lot of bad word and sometimes he acts like a video game\'s character.


So, I think it affects to be violent.

>> Therefore, I think it affects him to become violent.

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