homework

2019-04-30 · 첨삭 강사 Irene

학생이 쓴 원문

ESSAY: What three things do you value most in your life right now? Why did you choose them? I can tell you the three things are my love ones, my health and money. I think those things are the essencial of my life. It will change the vaue things but at least, I can say I don't need anything except those three things right now. I want to live healthy with my love ones in good condtion of the finance like everyone wishes. If I can choose one thing more, I will choose elegance and beutiful apperance. Frankly speaking, as I am getting older, I am a little bit addicted to the beauty and keeping young looks. But I can delay getting old but I cannot reverse the time. I sighTT

강사 첨삭

Hello Ms. [이름]!  Thanks for your message!  ^_^
~ T. Irene~
ESSAY: What three things do you value most in your life right now? Why did you choose them?
I can tell you the three things are my love ones, my health and money.
>>> I can tell you the three things that I love the most : my love ones, health and money.
I think those things are the essencial of my life. 
>>> I think those things are essential in my life. 
It will change the vaue things but at least, I can say I don\'t need anything except those three things right now.
>>> There are a lot of things are valuable but right now they are not as important to me as those three things. 
I want to live healthy with my love ones in good condtion of the finance like everyone wishes.
>>> I want to live a healthy life with my love ones and in a good financial condition like what everyone wishes for.
If I can choose one thing more, I will choose elegance and beutiful apperance. 
>>> If I can choose one more thing,  I will choose elegance or beautiful appearance
Frankly speaking, as I am getting older, I am a little bit addicted to the beauty and keeping young looks. 
>>> Frankly speaking, as I am getting older, I am a little bit addicted to beauty and keeping myself look younger.  
But I can delay getting old but I cannot reverse the time. I sighTT
>>> I cannot reverse time but I can delay getting old. I sighTT

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